The height of Grossness

Collections are an interesting thing. Growing up I collected base ball cards, rocks, comic books, music, star wars figures, the list goes on. I still have the comic books, the ball cards are gone. So it is in this thought process that I move to my oldest daughters collection habits.

Rocks, road gravel, grass, leaves, pine cones flowers, barbie dolls books, all kinds of things that are perfectly fine and sometimes just strange get collected, she is of course a pack rat. Remember a few days ago I wrote about "it's on de window" yea well when I went into Amberly's room today J was there somehow in the night things got switched up Zoey came into our bed and J went into Amberly's bed it happens with little girls. So when I got there she asked if I wanted to be grossed out. Then said "Amberly get a wet wipe and take care of business."

You shouldn't have to explain the proper collection items and the improper ones. One shouldn't have to be told that you don't save things like toenail clippings, and ear wax and of course yes thats right you guessed it boogers, Amberly had a collection of boogers or snot wipes on the wall next to her bed.

Why share this with you gentle readers well i shouldn't have to be grossed out all by myself. I know that people are reading and so I thought they could go about their day and week thinking and if they have kids wondering where the booger collection is.

why

Tonight Amberly asked a pretty strait forward and completely legitimate question. Why did Jesus know that Peter was going to deny him? Not how but why? Now the easy answer is Jesus is God and God knows everything. "But why?" Good question, wish I had an answer. See the longer I live in relationship with God and People, the more I realize that I can see why so many people have such big huge questions when it comes to God. I get the people that say what makes you right and fill in the blank religion wrong, they were trained in their religion all their life just like you, they have a sacred book, just like you I get it. So when Amberly asks why did Jesus know and I say well He's God and God knows everything and she says yea but why. I can see where she's coming from and I have to admit that I have no idea. No clue whatsoever and ya know what, thats okay. I don't need to know nor do I necessarily want to. See the minute we are able to answer all those questions easily is the minute that faith, childlike faith becomes unnecessary, but God tells us to come to Him like a little child, go figure.

usefulness

J and the kids went to see her parents this past weekend. Which is great it was actually my Valentines gift from J. I was getting a little frazzled living in the world of kids shows, and Barbie, and painting and coloring. I love my kids but after a while you crave some solitude and talking to big people who's voices are not so shrill.

Being a stay at home dad is not the easiest thing to do. I'm pretty excited about the prospect of working at a homeless shelter. It's a great time 3-11 allowing us to not have to pay for care for Zoey and still allowing me to feel like I'm contributing. I'll feel useful again, not that I think that taking care of my kids is not useful, it's been great in some respects, a child that was just not sure of me has really grown closer to me and I really do love that.

So what does J being gone with the kids and me hopefully getting this job with the shelter have to do with the idea of usefulness. Simple.
While they were gone I took the time to do a good clean of things, something that is hard to do when Z is there, mainly because she rips it up faster than I can put it together, in fact as she has been finding herself these past few weeks it's been harder and harder to do things that I am used to, blogging is not really that easy because it's a constant play date for her. So how am I blogging now? McDonalds Play Land. She is up in the tree house and I am typing away. It works.

While I was cleaning I came across a cutting board. Now this is not an ordinary cutting board. It's one that we were given by J's step father several years ago. Hand crafted, beautiful looking wooden cutting board. We have had it for several years and we have never used it as a cutting board. It takes up space it looks nice but thats it, it was designed for one thing and it's useless.

I wonder how many humans have this same issue. We are designed for something specific but we are not doing it, I don't mean the whole designed for relationship with God and not doing it I'm talking about something a bit more specific. I'm not sure I would call it calling or whatever but it happens. It has happened to me and to others I am sure. So what do you do with that. The cutting board gets moved from surface to surface and we say how nice it looks but thats it, the most that has happened is that I have baked bread, cut the bread, and then put it on the cutting board already cut to serve because the board looks so nice. I don't think thats what God wants us to do though. I think he wants us to be what we were designed for, and when we mess up he wants us to fix it or to help us fix it and try and figure a way to do what we were designed for again. The problem isn't God the problem is us. I know this and who knows what comes next. I just know that it's all about Salt and Light and when I was a stranger you let me in and working for a shelter really fits that.

For what it's worth I still think I would be a great youth pastor, I know how to do it and I have learned so much but I also think that there comes a time when because of circumstances we can't be what we are we have to be what we must be.

it's on de window

the last couple of days have been interesting to say the least, interesting and a challenge.

See we have these 2 kids and as the stay at home primary care giver it gets rather tedious at times. I'm a work person as many of you know if you have been reading for any amount of time i like to work I tie my identity to being what I consider a contributing member. I know I know I'm taking care of my kids bla bla bla, and I love them but I get no time away to appreciate them more, and I am losing it. I can and do feel for that stay at home mom because thats me without the soft mothery bits.

See Guys are supposed to be the hunters the go out and bring it home person so i'm out of my element.

Today was a bad day all around both girls being difficult Amberly started the morning crying and kept it up till she was dropped off Zoey refusing to nap and well this picture says it all.

That happened to her face when I was out of the room for like 5 seconds.

It's been a challenge the last few days/weeks.

Amberly is in the dramatic everything sucks for me faze of life and Zoey is just being bad.

Sunday sums it up.

Zoey had a booger in her nose we do our best to get them away from her because well getting them and puting them in a tissue is better than them going in her mouth. As J turned to ask her if she could have the booger Z said no, when J asked where the booger was she said.
It's on de window, ya know what she was right it was.

What's it mean?

I wonder what it means to be thinking that working with a group of people that I used to, what's the word fear or was very uncomfortable with, means. I in fact would like to work with them, which is a very cool thing to me. Matthew 25 has this to say about what happens whenever this whole world is over, check it out.

"For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me."

The thing is if I happen to get an interview at any of the numerous places that I have applied to I will get to do just that, but the place that I applied to last night especially intrigues me. It's called HIPPS. This outreach to people who work the streets in DC and who have addiction issues as well as health issues or potential health issues would put me squarely in a position to reach to the ones who hurt the most who have the least and who need someone to be salt and light to them. Will I preach them a sermon if I get the job and tell them the Romans Road, not necessarily. I will live my faith out by doing. By helping and reaching and not condemning. It's not my job to condemn or even judge people who don't have faith in Christ.
In fact we are not the judge of anyone. We can look at people that have faith and see their fruit but passing judgment on who fits and who doesn't and who belongs and who doesn't isn't our place. God is the final judge. What we are called to do is be salt and light. To be like Christ. To reach to give and to love. Jesus was the friend of sinners.

So what's that mean to all the stuff that I was, what about my calling to youth and young adults, how does that fit. I'm not sure. I just know that I want to do something that reaches to people who are sick and hurting and have lost everything. Because that's me, I have a sneaking suspicion though that thats more than just me. I believe that if all of us Christians were honest with ourselves we would see that it's all of us.We are all sick and hurting and perhaps we haven't lost everything but trust me when I say this it happens much easier than you think, especially when you think you have it all together, especially when your pride or in my case of course my pride keeps me from asking and seeking and even knocking.

Hope this helps someone else it is helping me.

Get outa my room

Last night it happened.
A couple of years ago my oldest daughter Amberly told me to leave her alone and to get out of her room. I did not handle this well, I'm daddy, I should always be welcome.

Enter Zoey. She has for the past 2 years been happy to have someone in her room with her. She has even said Daddy will you lay with me or read to me or whatever it is to keep one of us in her room, shoot sometimes she even comes into our room and tells us to scooch. Until last night that is. Last night my 2 year old told me to get outa her room.

I know that they grow, that they change and that they become their own people I'm watching them do it on a daily basis, however I was not ready for that. Yet another road mark on the way to no hair, no wait. I already took care of that. Ok yet another road mark on the way to ear hair.