The Over Share...

You know the ones I'm talking about don't you... "friends" on a myriad of social media platforms.

I guess I should start this little tirade with a bit of a disclaimer...For me Social Media in any form is used for one of two things, communication and connection with friends across that miles, or communication and dissemination of information for ministry... Now don't get me wrong, I remember the days that I spent poking friends because it seemed fun stupid but fun...Then there was that ever present giving people stuff...a drink, a car whatever I think I remember that.  Posting and sharing fun stuff about the kids is great, and the occasional send up a prayer if you think about it, going through something...I used to post pictures of the food or bread I would make, mainly to make others jealous of what they didn't get to have...

What I don't remember doing was posting things that no one wants to know, needs to know or should know.  I am happy to know you need prayer for something, or need to talk about something.  If we are friends on facebook or if you are a twitter follower, by all means put it out there that you are going through something...but keep it at something, if you want to go into detail send an email, make a phone call, or even a Facebook message...a PRIVATE one...

Additionally it bugs the spit out of me when people want to try their relationship issues in the court of facebook opinion... cryptically saying things like "you know who you are," or "some people bet (yes I said bet) mind their own business." or whatever other semi private but really public because you want to be supported by whoever will take your side in the argument is just wrong. Deal with your relationships like a grown up not like an 8 year old.

Then theirs the people who tell you every minute detail of what they are doing every other minute.  "Getting food with my girl."  "Watching movie with bae (still hate that.)  "wish my boo were here."  WHO CARES besides you what you are doing at any given moment.

And please everyone everywhere stop referring to your Pets as children...Pets are not Children.  I will be the first to admit that pets become a part of the family.  They offer great comfort and companionship, they enhance the quality of life but they are not your Children, they are not your kids. They are your pet...you own them, when moving to a new place if you are faced with a Pet Deposit there is always the consideration of re-homing your pet so as to have a better quality of life for the humans, there isn't really that consideration with Children.  Pets are not people too, they are pets, important, special, well loved even but not equal to humans in any way shape or form.  Posting every thing your dog or cat or whatever does and calling it your child is just as bad as the other stuff.

There have been countless times over the past few months that I have seriously considered closing down my personal Facebook account, and usually it has to do with what people are posting that comes across my news feed or timeline or whatever it's called, because while I enjoy political conversations to some extent, or a good religious debate once in a while, knowing that you had El Polo Chico Renaldo for supper because you spent the night on the toilet with a trash can in front of you, and you pray to all that there is to pray to that your Boo will get home soon because you don't want to be sick alone. Yeah that's not all that interesting to me...well that and any member of the Tea Party that posts anything... make me just want to bail...but I don't...and why don't I...because every once in a while, someone will post something that makes sense, usually a friend or old class mate or whatever, and when that happens I get to smile a bit and laugh at the old picture from fourth grade, and find a few friends from before that I forgot I even had...until they start talking about their child boo boo who was so cute when he started barking at the leaf on the back porch...then well they just have to go.

I used to be...

For years I was a youth and young adult pastor.  I was a proud member of what can be an under appreciated, over worked and now looking back extremely clueless club,  I say clueless because many in this club were quick to point out the above points, thinking that the leadership above or beside us just didn't get it, that their job security was sure, that they had lost touch with what was really important. Youth and young adult pastors the world over look down on other staff members, claiming they don't understand or know what matters, they are on the cutting edge, they aren't relevant.

I used to wear the badge of being relevant with honor.  Movies and culture were something I spent time studying to keep up with the latest trends.  I hate to admit it but there were times when I spent more time with Rolling Stone, GQ, EGM, and IMDB than I did with Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  I would read publications about cutting edge ministry, surf for the latest trends and stay on the edge of what was at the time an emerging social media market.  Offering classes to parents on Facebook, and at the time MySpace.

I used to care about being relevant...and to be honest I still do but the perspective has shifted.  As a youth and young adult pastor it was easy for me, and I'm guessing for others like me to mistake relevance with early adoption.  In our zeal to be relevant we equate relevance with adoption.  Inevitably this takes up time, valuable time, time that could be spent being relevant in the lives of the people we are supposed to be ministering too instead of being an authority on cultural shift and the latest trends.

If I could somehow tell my younger self anything it would be to do the research, keep up with what is going on but to major in relevant relationships instead of relevance.

This all came up tonight when faced with the unending diatribe of memes and mushy platitudes attached to pictures instagramed and pinned by the 12-year-old.  I know about these things. I understand their relevance, I know it's important to find ways to express yourself, and to be able to use what's around you, whats popular, whats trending to identify yourself.  We were mall rats, spent nights at the skate zone, or rollerworld, played our video games a quarter at a time.  Summer was for camp and movies and the drive in.  The fair was all about food and rides and girls. having a phone meant your parents put a jack in your room.  I had records and a component stereo in my room that was loud.  Portable music was a Walkman that played tapes and the radio. CD's became main stream as I was heading to college.  This was all important to me and I know my kids all have things that are all important to them, I want to interact with them on those levels in some ways but in others I really don't care. I don't want to read what someone else wrote about their bae (I just found out this isn't a lazy form of baby, or babe but means (before anyone else)  I hate the word a sure sign I'm older, but that's okay.  I want to be relevant in my kids life and doing so doesn't require me to adopt the latest app, or change the keyboard on my smart phone, or speak emoji, it means knowing about these things sure, and as a leader of a church that wants to be relevant in people's lives find ways to leverage these things, and the people who can do that effectively, but to be relevant in a person's life means I'm interested in them, in the things that matter to them, in their struggles, in their joys, in their pain, in their heartache and in their need.  Real relevance is not about stuff or knowing about the latest, it's about being intentional in each chance we have to interact with another human being.  It's about offering the love and grace and mercy and truth that Jesus is to others and then doing it again and again and again.  The relevance of the gospel is a constant, sure the way we present it changes but it never does.

As I struggle to be relevant in my children's and churches life, I will be reminding myself over and over that doing so is more about being in community and less about what's cutting edge...