Those People

One of the things that J and I love about being in this area is the diversity of individuals. I like going out and seeing a plethora of people from all over the world. I like hearing the different accents and seeing the smiles. I even like seeing all the different socio economic classes all in the same areas.

I think God must like diversity as well because He made so many different people, and then after doing so told us to go and be salt and light. He told us to sharpen each other. He showed us that true love, true compassion, true care did not evidence itself when you were loving, caring, compassionate to the people who like you and are like you but to the people that you don’t understand, the ones that are the lest of these from Matthew 25.

I think one of the most difficult things for Christians in general to realize is that we do no have a corner on the market of good deeds, or of caring about others. We just have a reason to do it that means a lot more. We do it because it’s what Jesus would have us to do, but is that enough? How can I reconcile the fact that Jesus told me to care and do things and reach out to the lost and hurting with the person that does not have that same mandate as part of their faith, and yet does it anyway?

Short answer is I can’t. I don’t understand why people who have not found out what it is to be a follower of Christ that treat people the way Christ would treat them.

I do have one observation about us though. Sometimes I wonder if those of us in the church are too busy with all the things that we are supposed to do as Christians. I wonder if we get so caught up in the struggle for what everyone else expects from us, that we forget we are supposed to reach out to those people, to be with those people, to love those people, ultimately because we are “those people.”

Long ago in a galaxy far far away

I have written countless posts detailing the rise and fall of my illustrious career. I have berated myself, done the mea culpa thing, worked out my salvation, showed my frustration, shared my depression and angst and anger.

I think it’s safe to say that I have frightened some people, especially when it concerns my eternal soul. Rest assured it is pretty much as safe as any eternal soul can be. I mean really we do have to take it on faith that those of us who claim Christianity are right and everyone else is wrong, a prospect that I will have issues with until the day I’m not looking through a glass darkly any more. I am equally sure that some of those same people that are concerned about the state of my relationship with God are going to be up in arms about the above statement. To you lovely readers I say deal with it. I am very secure in the fact that, I am on good speaking terms with God and that I like checking out what the Bible has to say on a regular basis. No need to fear for me just because I express questions. Sometimes I wonder if the reason so many people are so worried about those questions is because they have them too, how could you not.

See I tend to think that God likes it when we have questions because as I’ve said before and as I’lll continue to say it simply means that I am going to dig deeper and try and learn and grow and know more of God. Thats what its all about as far as I can tell. Relationship with God.

I have also said that it is time to move on and get going into whatever is the next phase of our life. I have to tell you that’s one of the most difficult things that I have to do. See I’m good at the whole church thing, very good at a big portion of it and now that I have perspective and the realization that it’s not only okay but a good thing that I can ask for help and that the other people put into place in my life are there to make up what I’m bad at, well sky’s the limit. The thing is even with that realization I know that the whole youth pastor thing may likely never happen again, a very sad thing because, again as I have said I’m really good at it. It’s like I was built to work with youth and young adults.

We have some interesting opportunities coming up and I want to be sure that we are truly open to what could happen. Still I have to say there is a big part of me that would love to just get a job working with people that need help and bury the gifts and talent’s that I have been given. Now to all my lovely friends who do the whole Biblical study thing I know that you should not allegorize or attempt to proof text things, and I know that the story of the talent’s was not about things we are good at but about money and faithfulness, I kind of feel bad about the whole idea.

Here’s the question, when God gifts you in certain ways and when He calls you to something, is there a statute of limitations?

I know that the Gifts and callings of God are without repentance, but a couple of years ago I had a similar question and I came to the conclusion that while God doesn’t take the calling or the ability away, it is possible for the human giving that gift and calling to mess it up so much that they can not really be used in that area ever again.

As I sit in Burger King with what is fast becoming two years later, I find myself re-evaluating that statement. Here’s why.

2“Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,
but also make it very clear
That she has served her sentence,
that her sin is taken care of—forgiven!
She’s been punished enough and more than enough,
and now it’s over and done with.”

So see this is the thing I read that the other day and have been on a pretty regular basis and what I have realized is that it was for me. At least at this time and especially when I am thinking of all that is going on lately, God says it’s time for me to stop using the past as an excuse and to be open to whatever he has, if it’s pastoring fine, if it’s school fine, if it’s selling perfume out of the back of the car, well thats fine too it’s whatever he wants not what I think...

Hope this helps someone else.

The feeding Trough

Tonight we went to CiCi’s Pizza.  J had 2 free buffet’s so it was cool we all ate for Seven Bucks.  The problem with this little adventure was that we sat facing the buffet and not just facing it but right next to it. 

I have to say I’m glad that we don’t go there all the time, it’s a nice thing once in a while but WOW what goes through peoples brains when the decide what to put on to go out in public?  Be it the extremely fat, and yes I said fat, not fluffy, not big boned, not chunky, fat fat fat fat fat,  or the older person or the younger person.  Usually it falls into one of two categories,   way way wat to tight and not enough of it, or the shiny purple pink 80’s mu mu’s and other strange things that old people wear, I am amazed.  The one girl that we saw had on a pair of pants so tight that you could not only see the cell phone in her front pocket you could read the outline of the numbers on in her speed dial book.  It just wasn’t attractive, and she wasn’t even that fat.  Then there was the old lady that looked like a cross between Grimace, and Michael Jordan's feet in the 80’s, you remember that first pair of Jordan’s ever.  Wow good times good times.  The best part about the night was being able to make comments about people,  my favorite being the one that was loud enough for the guy holding his girl friends purse to hear, I told him it matched his hair.  He almost choked on the pizza he was hogging down over the buffet, a pretty nasty thought now that I let it sit there.  I don’t want someone eating over my food.

Anyway I realized we, and by we I mean the collective we of the people eating in the restaurant are just like a bunch of cows at a feeding trough.  What solidified this vision in my mind. 

As we left Amberly and Zoey both rang, yes thats right the cow bell.  So while none of us wears one when we come in, they want us to ring it as we leave. 

Next time I think I’ll mooo.

This… That

Last night we took the girls to the Library and to the mall for ice crème.  I know you may wonder why the mall for ice crème but there are two reasons for that.  One is that we know where that Dairy Queen is and they had a sale on Blizzards, buy one get one for 25 cents.  Second was there is a play place there that the girls can run around in. 

I like taking them there with J, it gives us time to talk about the day without the addition of comments and questions from the rug rats.  There has been so much going on lately.  So many big decisions to make.  So much to think about and I must confess to worry about.  I know I’m not supposed to worry but I do.  I can’t help it.  I have this person who gets me and who is a great mother, and a great friend, and someone that I just love and I just worry about her.  It makes the days hard and sometimes I wonder how much more we will have to face.  How much more we will have to go through. 

When you are raised in church one of two things can happen, you can embrace the religion of your parents whole heartedly and become them, or you can grow to question some of the things you always took for granted, sometimes you can even resent the harsh reality that is the real world and get angry that it doesn’t fit into the cookie cutter formulae that you were given as a child.  See with kids you can tell them thing tell them how to do things and what to say and what to do and well they will just do it.  Case in point, last night at the mall I told the girls to say “bow chica wow wow.  They both did, in fact continuing most of the evening off and on saying that. I said do it they did it.  I went to church with my parents it was what we did.  There was no question, there was no choice it’s what you were supposed to do. 

The problem with this way of living, is that eventually you have to start living and doing things on your own.  You have to take the things that you were given, the tools of life and faith and belief and put them together for yourself. 

This is again illustrated by Zoey.  For months we have been trying to get her to walk up the steps with alternating feet.  She is supposed to do this that.  We hold her hand and say this that this that, you can tell it drives her nuts but she will do it usually.  Then came today she initiated this that on her own.  Told me to hold her tag (blanket)and said I’m doing this that.  She had taken what we have been giving her or trying to and was making it her own.

Relationship with God is something that people can’t do en mass nor can they just rely on the fact that they know about God or know what they are supposed to believe.  They have to build their own relationship with God.  This may fly in the face of the idea of Grace to some, and I know that there is a whole group of people that will tell me that it’s impossible for humanity to earn their own salvation.  I agree with that I’m not talking about being good enough to get in.  I am talking about the part of our relationship with God that we are responsible for.  The continued connection after the initial salvation experience. The walking each day in the path that God has for you.  That is the hard part of things, especially when it would be so much easier to have him just tell us where to go and what to do, but what kind of relationship is that?

That's if you pray then when you pray be naked praying pray naked…

15 years ago the 77’s put out an album titled Pray Naked.  Wow did people go nuts but I think the problem was that they missed the point.

Thinking about what it is to have a relationship with God, what it is to live and move and have your being in Him, we often miss the point of what really works in relationship.

When are we the most vulnerable, when are we the most open, when are we the least able to guard ourselves.  When do we show a person the most trust?  Think about it most people are only willing to be naked with people that they trust, people they know are not going to broadcast that naked to the world.

When we are naked with someone we are telling them that they are important and that we trust them, we are giving them a lot of power.  So why shouldn’t we be that way when we pray.  Why is it so difficult for us to come to God with not just a list of wants and language that was last used on a regular basis in the 19th century?  What is it about prayer that makes us think we have to dress up and change our personality.

I loved the song, still do, there were a lot of religious people who didn’t.  I think we need to get to the point where we are willing to pray naked, where we are willing to really trust God when we pray, just like we trust the significant other that we were fist naked with or that we are naked with.  We need to have the kind of trust that realizes God will not look down on us or make fun of us or breach the trust we have given him.  He is not going to broadcast our prayers for the world to see or hear.  He won’t tell the world our deepest darkest fears and pains,  He wants us to be so comfortable talking to him that we just talk to him, like we would talk to a best friend.

The day in the middle.

I have often wondered about easter Saturday, there are names for every other day of the Easter season.  Palm Sunday, Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday but there is this day in-between.

Everyone has had bad days, everyone has had days that they wish they could re-do.  Everyone has days that they wish they could just cover their head and will the world away.  The dark days. I am sure that this was one of Peters darkest days, the other disciples, Mary the list goes on.

So why am I publishing this post so many days after I started it?  Simple  our lives have been categorized by some pretty dark days in the past months.  Just when we think that things are looking up something else comes along that snuffs out the light that has started, be it Health issues, employment, car problems, kid problems, you name it we have had it in the past two years.  I feel like we are in the day in the middle.  the day where things are dark and it looks like they are going to stay that way.   You may say "but remember things got better, Jesus rose and things got better, and yes that is true... well sort of... see if you keep reading the New Testament you will find that things did not get better.  Oh sure Jesus was alive, and yes the church was growing, but the persecution the real persecution didn't start until after the Ascension.  The dark days for the believers were just beginning.  What strikes me is how they handled these days.  They were in the habit of counting it all joy, and while I'm sure that they didn't all sing merrily when the persecution came, notice I said all yes I know that Paul and Silas sang, they still had a perspective that I believe is lacking in the church today, that is lacking in my life.  I wonder why it is lacking,  I think it has to do with the freedom of religion that we have in our country.   Just track with me for a moment.  Look at the church in other parts of the world,  look at the early church.  The best and most powerful moves of God happened then and are happening all over the world because there was a real sense of what it meant to be like Christ, not just in the good things but in the suffering and the bad.

We don't have this here.  We live in a country that, contrary to what some on the extreme right want us to believe, gives us the freedom to worship as we choose.  I believe that this freedom to worship has made us soft, it has made the American Christian lazy.

Sometimes I am not sure that the "judgment" that God has sent to America is a judgment not of the nation but of the Christians in the nation because we have forgotten.  We have gotten so used to our Total Money Make Overs, and our Tea Party Patriots, and our Moral Majorites, and our need to get prayer back in the schools, and stop abortion that we have somewhere left out the message of Christ.

Years ago, and yes I know I'm going to date myself, a band name Degarmo and Key had a song called the pledge.  It sums it up for me perfectly.

"He died for me, I'll live for Him." Not I'll fight for Him, not I'll do His Job, Not I'll take over my finances, not I'll protest and take a moral majority stand.  I'll simply live for him.  I'll look at what he did, how he worked, who he talked to, who he poured into and I'll live for Him.

What

I have started at least five different blog posts in the past two weeks.

The thing is I really like to write, I like to hear that people like to read things. The real problem is it’s not that easy to write lately. So much is happening some of it good some of it bad most of it frustrating.

The girls are fine. J’s health is not where we want it to be and I am feeling this huge disconnect from the human race. I sometimes feel that I am looking at myself through a window it’s like there is this part of me that is cheering the me that it sees on.

Yea it’s confusing for me too. J and I have both said we would like to not have to make decisions and wow do I say that big time. It was so much easier when the decisions were made for you. When you were able to blame it on someone else if things went wrong, alas that is no longer the case.

So whats it mean, is Aaron having a crisis of belief? Has he given up on the faith of his youth and decided to branch out? Has he angered God and is he being punished for it? Or is he sitting outside the city in a pile of rubble scraping his skin and throwing dust on himself waiting for some friends to come and tell him what a horrid person he is?

Lets take the questions one at a time.

1. The whole crisis of belief thing... I wouldn’t call it a crisis just a hey yo God you could lighten up a little bit moment. I still believe in God, and I am sure he believes in me as we have had our share and your share of character building.


2. Branching out... no I’m not branching out. So many times when a person does not spout the right rhetoric, or vote for the right person, or hate the right people because hey we are Christians and we are supposed to show “righteous indignation” bla bla bla we like to label the person as giving up their faith. I have not given up on the faith of my youth. I am just growing in it and it’s not the way that some people think it should grow. The thing is I really don’t care much if my faith and belief in God looks like yours does, or like any other Christ Followers faith. I am supposed to work out my salvation with fear and trembling... I’ll work out mine you work out yours we don’t have time or the ability to do it any other way.


3. The whole anger God thing... Who hasn’t I don’t mean to say that I think God is up in Heaven waiting to squash me when I mess up. I just think that it’s no so much making God angry as it is disappointing him, and I’m sure I have not cornered the market on that one. I think we all do. The best thing about God and the relationship that I have with Him is the fact that His grace and His ability to look at my mistakes and be sad and want me to change do not mean he is angry, besides for me it’s not angry that bothers me, it’s knowing that I have been any kind of a disappointment to anyone, especially to God.


4. The Job thing... Well I’m not reading Job. Actually making a concerted effort to stay out of Job as that is too cliche’ to be honest. I used to read Job and Jeremiah when things got difficult, I may even throw in a little lamentations for good measure. This time however I am staying in the Gospels and Psalms. Go figure.

So there you have it the questions answered to the best of my ability.

We are facing things that i never thought we would face, and yes there are times when I wake up and just don’t “feel” God right next to me. So pray for us. I am not asking for goose bumps or anything. I have one simple request and I know that God can grant it.

Fix her...