Summer Time Blues.

Summer in the Newell house is not really our favorite time of year. Sure there was a time when we enjoyed Summer, there was a time that things in the Summer were fun, we were working in ministry, we were doing camps and planning Fall retreats, and enjoying life. We had cook outs, and planned missions trips and went on vacations. One summer we even had a first Summer with our first child, that was pretty spectacular. Birthday’s were fun we celebrated our anniversary, actually celebrated it, Summer used to be fun, summer used to be something that we looked forward to.

I’ve always been a person that loves camp. I think camp is one of the most important parts of growing up. Kids need a camp experience, and parents need the time to reset after several weeks of kids all over the place under foot. Camp was the thing that I loved to do, I loved planning camp, teaching spotlight sessions, working with students, time around the altar, leading worship, planning Smash Hour and then Tribal Council. I still have the packets from Camp in the NWD. Later I really enjoyed planning Extreme camping adventures with my students, taking them white water rafting, and cave exploring and spending time in God’s creation, teaching and exploring some of God’s truths. Two years at Summer music festivals, one year with Amberly as a little baby, we even spiked her hair.

The thing is Summer is supposed to be enjoyable, and it so rarely is for us any more. In fact we actually hate Summer, at least I do. It seems that once May June and July roll around things get harder instead of easier, they don’t slow down and lighten up, on the contrary they actually get more intense, and we have to really plod through it.

We were really hoping that this Summer would be a good Summer, a pleasant one, take some trips, enjoy our kids, spend time together, even with J pregnant it still had potential, alas this was not to be. From my journey through the wilderness back in June, to Summer school with the Turtle ( don’t get me wrong I am extremely grateful to God for allowing me to work Summer School) it just hasn’t been all that pleasant.

So much of my life seems to be doing what has to be done, or doing what others want me to do, or doing what no one else wants to do. I get it though, as a man that is trying desperately to be more like Christ, I am learning the concept of becoming less and less so He can become more… Still I am human and there are times that my selfish genes kick in and I want to do what I want to do or even what I was told was going to happen.

In just a few more weeks I will be teaching at Immanuels, then comes the worst part of the wait in this whole endeavor. See up until now I have been very sure that things were going to go a certain way, I have really felt that God was in this and that He was opening the door. I still feel this way but there is this specter that looms large in the background of Aaron Land that says it’s just going to be another ray of hope that ultimately goes down the tubes, it’s scary how much I really am wanting this. I keep telling myself and other people that I’m going to be okay with whatever happens, that God is in control, and while I know this in my heart, and even in my head I really am building myself up with this one.

A few blogs back I wrote about embracing the idea that Paul put forth when he said he had learned to be content at all times. I am still working on that one and I know that if God isn’t taking us to Immanuel’s there’s a reason.

Still it would be awesome to end a Summer of Blues with a return to full time ministry. Who knows whats going to happen I guess we wait and see.

See you around the blog oh and look for chapter three or is it four later on tonight.

I don't wanna move.

Well dear reader, it’s been entirely too long. I know I know I should be more on top of things, especially when there has been so much going on, there is however a problem with that. While things have been hectic and busy I have found that most of what has been happening seems to be un-noteworthy. I know this seems counter intuitive. I mean since my last post I have traveled across the country and back, worked on and been praying about the very real possibility of being Pastor Aaron again, drove across the country, started working in the KTHS Summer School program, oh yea and did I mention I drove across the country.

What I thought I would do for my triumphant return to blogland was take each thing and wax eloquent on them.

1. The whole pastor thing

• I have been praying for the past months a very interesting prayer mainly because of a feeling I have had. I know our relationship with God is not about feelings, however this prayer is because of it. I am beginning to understand a bit more of how Paul felt. Incidentally I also am having less and less of the “problem” I had with Paul a few years back. Don’t get me wrong I was always amazed at all he did with God but I also sometimes felt he could be a bit cocky, anyway Paul had this thorn that was given




• 2 Cor 12:8-10


• 8 At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, 9 and then he told me,




• My grace is enough; it's all you need.


• My strength comes into its own in your weakness.




• Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness.


• (from THE MESSAGE: The Bible in Contemporary Language © 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All rights reserved.)

                

                See Paul had his thorn the thing he asked God to take away and God left it where it was, well I sometimes feel the same way about the call and the gift I have been given when it comes to working with students. I have been begging God to just take away the calling and the gifting, replace it if you want to but take it away. Thats pretty much how my prayers had been going. He just won’t do that and that makes life so much harder.
                
                So today as I finally finish this post that should have been finished days ago I am waiting for a meeting with the founding pastor of a church here in MD, I have been through several interviews, and I know what I believe is supposed to happen, I just don’t’ have the confidence I used to in my listners if that makes sense, mainly because I have thought that God was doing something only to find that I was off base. So who knows at this point but I believe that soon I’ll be Pastor Aaron again and if not well God has some reason for leaving this whole calling thing in place.

1. KTHS Summer School

• This one is one of those amazing things that is not necessarily the good kind of amazing. When I was on my cross country adventure a few weeks ago things changed in my school employment. Initially I was to be working half day’s in the afternoon, now I am full day one on oneing with a student. Not something I mind it just threw our planned childcare into a spin, and as is usually the case our other plans got totally spun around when it came to how the kids and who the kids were to be taken care of by. Babysitting week one was, how should I put it not the most positive of experiences. Still we made it through and are now working through the rest of the summer with various things in place. The girls are going to go to my parents for two weeks, Zoey calls it two feet and one hand, she is really excited, mommy and daddy however are going to greatly miss our girls. Still they will be back in time for the 31 daddy’s big day of teaching at Deep Waters, the church that I’m meeting with from the first part of this post.




• Driving across the country

                Yea this was a big one. J tasked me with helping her cousin move and driving her mom and her mom’s cousin all the way to Idaho. We saw some beautiful things and I was again reminded of why I love the City and of how I like to travel. Still Camping out at the foot of Devil’s Tower was quite awe inspiring, and seeing Mountain goats in the badlands can’t be matched. Watching the mamma goat care for her young as they played.

Well dear reader I of course will write more soon.