I'm in the process of reading and summarizing a report about what happened in Baltimore last April for the association and conference that our church happens to be a part of. I have watched and became frustrated with the way so many people who claim Christ desire to fist bump Donald Trump as the coming Messiah of the good old U.S. of A, especially with his obvious bigotry and prejudice on display on a regular basis and his ability to spot internet rumor and conspiracy as fact...because we all know what we see on TV and read on the internet is always true... right? I've taken whats her name that wouldn't just do her job and the christians who found it more conducive to wave crosses and play Eye of the TIger and call her a Modern Day martyr for the cause to task for being annoying and cannonizing her as a protestant saint. I realized the pure frustration that a family must have felt when their son was taken into custody for a "bomb" that was obviously not a bomb and that no one really thought was a bomb, given they way they kept everyone in the school etc.
As a pastor it's part of my vocation to speak out about things that the church is doing that hurts the cause of Christ...which in case we were all forgetting is pretty much summed up in our telling people with our words and our actions that God so loved them that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Love God, Love People that's what we need to be doing.
All of these things I have done. Interspersed throughout those posts and my work as a pastor in Baltimore I have shared some of the hard dark sad parts of what I do, as well as some funny moments that will inevitably happen being a father of three girls.
It's a safe bet that I sit at odds with a lot of people that I know and love in many respects and I'm okay with that.
I write about good things and crappy things, things that encourage me and things that bother me, and so today I'm going to write about something that really bothered me...
When I looked at my news feed I found that Ahmed Mohamed's parents are seeking 15 Million in damages in a law suite against the City and the School system, as well as a public apology.
Don't get me wrong, there should be consequences to the idiotic behavior that officials both in the City of Irving and on the School Board evidenced. There should be a public apology, as well as some form of punitive penalty to help all of them think before they act in such an obviously bigoted way...but...15 Million. Think for a moment about who that amount of money is going to directly effect. Students and families that rely on some of the programs that the city has to offer. It's not going to affect the people who perpetrated the bigotry and discrimination, it's going to be taken from people who had no say in what happened.
What happened to Ahmed was wrong... and now when the city and school system pays out this 15 million what will happen to other students just like Ahmed will be wrong.
Ahmed has had some awesome things happen in the wake of the obvious bigotry that he was subject to. He has met presidents, the CEO of Google and been named one of Times 2015 most influential teens. He has been given a full ride scholarship to one of the best schools of Qatar, and while I think it's deplorable that in order to get the education he deserves and to be treated with the respect and dignity he deserves he has gone there, I think it's awesome that those things have happened. The tragedy was turned to triumph in many ways because people were willing to step up and do the right thing, to not allow a few people to be the voice of the majority.
So why then are we punishing not the idiots that started the whole mess but the students and families that had nothing to do with it. I wish it were different but it looks suspiciously like an easy pay day to me and nothing more. There is it seems no impetus demanding change, or training to understand what was done wrong, there is no desire for disciplinary action evidenced in the demand for 15 million there is simply a desire for 15 million and oh yeah a public apology...
And this is my problem... the childish, greed and need to be right, that so many evidence. Be it the Gay couple that decided that they would stick it to Memories Pizza, Ahmed's parents who want their payday, or a group of Christians who claim an elected official can opt out of doing her job because she doesn't like it, they all seem to miss the point and in my estimation set back the causes for which they fight when they resort to behavior that I would attribute to a spoiled child and not a rational adult.
When we punish the masses for the sins of the few, we create something frightening, a culture that will be less likely to speak up, use their rights of free speech, or want to put themselves on the line for what is right and what should be. It's a different type of oppression, and places all the power not in the hands of the oppressed, not in the hands of the people, but in the hands of a select few who use money, and litigation to exploit rather than bring about constructive change.
Anyway I don't know. I just was sad to see someone cashing in at what will be the expense of people who had nothing to do with the problem in the first place...
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
What we won’t tell you…
There are things that pastors won’t tell you. Things that you don’t want to hear, things that make us more human than you want us to be. There are other blogs that have said things like this before, written by people far more important and far more famous in the churchesphere than I. The things they say are true, but many of them leave out some of the things that we won’t tell you because well yea they just do.
I also realize that I am now telling you dear reader, the things that pastors won’t tell you, meaning you now will know some of the things that we don’t tell you or are afraid to tell you.
I want to be clear about something when it comes to these things we won’t tell you, this is ammunition, plain and simple. This blog all about me getting out the things that are in my mind and heart, pretty much unfiltered, and whenever this happens, whenever someone goes unfiltered they open themselves up. It’s a safe bit that some of these things may be things your pastor won’t tell you. Again I get it ammunition, what you choose to do with what I write and what you read is on you.
Anyway. We won’t tell you…
1. Pastoring is not just a full time job, or vocation. We are constantly in pastor mode, even when we are supposed to not be in pastor mode we are. 40 hours is a joke when you’re a pastor. You are always on call, even when you’re not supposed to be. Sure we will block out time, we will attempt to disconnect for a while, we will even make lip service to taking a break and knowing we need to, but it’s just that, lip service. We are constantly thinking about praying for, and agonizing over the church we serve. Email, phone calls, texts, vision casting, service design, building issues, member growth both spiritually and physically, all of it is always there, it never goes away. You can’t leave it at the office, you can’t just unplug from it. You can set up some walls, and try and cut out space for a life beyond the church but it never really works. When we aren’t pastoring, we’re miserable, and when we are pastoring we are miserable for a whole different set of reasons.
2. Our family suffers. Every time you pick at someone in our family, hold them to a higher standard or say something about them or to them about how disappointed you are or about how the other pastors significant other or kids would never have done or said or been fill in the blank it hurts. Every time we have to say no to some family something because of a church something it builds walls between us and the people we are supposed to put first. What makes I t worse is the massive amount of guilt associated with the suffering our family endures. The worst part is we become accustomed to feelings of guilt, because when we do take time with or for our family, we feel guilty about not being there for the church we have been called by God to serve.
3. We want you to like us. Not our preaching, not the way we dress, not if we can sing or not, and not the things that we do for the church. We want you to like us, and we can tell when you don’t, and when we get that vibe one of two things will happen, we will try extra hard to get you to like us, or we will come up with ways to avoid one on one conversation with you.
4. We look at the service as art. Putting it together, making sure it flows, spending time praying over each element, trying to get the timing down, all of it is art, all of it takes time. Sometimes the work is fridge worthy, sometimes it’s gallery worthy, and sometimes it’s rubbish that needs to be scrapped. The problem is we don’t always know which it will be until we are in the middle of it, so not only do you get to see the gallery and fridge stuff, you also see the crappy pieces that we wish no one could see.
5. Sermons are not just a weekly speech. There is more to preparing a quality sermon than reading a few verses. We know when they tank, in fact we know that they are going to tank when we open our mouth at the beginning of the message, and we feel horrible about that.
6. Sometimes you bother us especially when you hurt the people we love. We won’t tell you this, in fact we will feel really bad for not liking you at any given point, we will agonize over it, pray about it, and figure there is something wrong with us.
7. We worry about your spiritual life, sometimes to the detriment of our own.
8. We want the church to grow more than you do. Every Sunday that attendance shrinks is another punch to the gut telling us that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t really called, and that we should just get out of this whole pastor thing. The problem is it’s not so easy to just turn off the calling that God has on our life and so we keep working and working and working.
9. Every time you bring up what the other guy did as the way it should be you are telling us that we will never really be your pastor, and that hurts.
10. We are pretty broken people that aren’t allowed to appear broken. We feel like we have to always be on, and when we aren’t on to everyone’s expectations we feel it, know it, and try working harder and longer, all of which is a detriment to our family, but we don’t know how to or are unwilling to stop juggling all the balls that is the church we are called to serve.
11. Titles, committees, and fundraisers are not nearly as important as everyone thinks they are. We do know what we are saying, we want you to know Jesus, we want you to be a part of the church because you Love Jesus more than anything. When you are doing it for any other reason we know this and it hurts because we are obviously not communicating the importance of a personal relationship with God that informs the rest of your life, in a way that helps you see how important it is and makes you want it.
12. We are scared and scarred. Scared to say the things that will hurt your feelings but ultimately help you in your life, and scarred from the times we did so and found out that you could really care less and have decided that we have no real say in your life. Again letting us know we are not your pastor.
There you go 12 things that we won’t tell you.
Now for one thing that is true beyond a shadow of a doubt, at least for me it is. We LOVE you. We LOVE you so much because it’s part of who we are and what we are made to be and what we want to do.
I also realize that I am now telling you dear reader, the things that pastors won’t tell you, meaning you now will know some of the things that we don’t tell you or are afraid to tell you.
I want to be clear about something when it comes to these things we won’t tell you, this is ammunition, plain and simple. This blog all about me getting out the things that are in my mind and heart, pretty much unfiltered, and whenever this happens, whenever someone goes unfiltered they open themselves up. It’s a safe bit that some of these things may be things your pastor won’t tell you. Again I get it ammunition, what you choose to do with what I write and what you read is on you.
Anyway. We won’t tell you…
1. Pastoring is not just a full time job, or vocation. We are constantly in pastor mode, even when we are supposed to not be in pastor mode we are. 40 hours is a joke when you’re a pastor. You are always on call, even when you’re not supposed to be. Sure we will block out time, we will attempt to disconnect for a while, we will even make lip service to taking a break and knowing we need to, but it’s just that, lip service. We are constantly thinking about praying for, and agonizing over the church we serve. Email, phone calls, texts, vision casting, service design, building issues, member growth both spiritually and physically, all of it is always there, it never goes away. You can’t leave it at the office, you can’t just unplug from it. You can set up some walls, and try and cut out space for a life beyond the church but it never really works. When we aren’t pastoring, we’re miserable, and when we are pastoring we are miserable for a whole different set of reasons.
2. Our family suffers. Every time you pick at someone in our family, hold them to a higher standard or say something about them or to them about how disappointed you are or about how the other pastors significant other or kids would never have done or said or been fill in the blank it hurts. Every time we have to say no to some family something because of a church something it builds walls between us and the people we are supposed to put first. What makes I t worse is the massive amount of guilt associated with the suffering our family endures. The worst part is we become accustomed to feelings of guilt, because when we do take time with or for our family, we feel guilty about not being there for the church we have been called by God to serve.
3. We want you to like us. Not our preaching, not the way we dress, not if we can sing or not, and not the things that we do for the church. We want you to like us, and we can tell when you don’t, and when we get that vibe one of two things will happen, we will try extra hard to get you to like us, or we will come up with ways to avoid one on one conversation with you.
4. We look at the service as art. Putting it together, making sure it flows, spending time praying over each element, trying to get the timing down, all of it is art, all of it takes time. Sometimes the work is fridge worthy, sometimes it’s gallery worthy, and sometimes it’s rubbish that needs to be scrapped. The problem is we don’t always know which it will be until we are in the middle of it, so not only do you get to see the gallery and fridge stuff, you also see the crappy pieces that we wish no one could see.
5. Sermons are not just a weekly speech. There is more to preparing a quality sermon than reading a few verses. We know when they tank, in fact we know that they are going to tank when we open our mouth at the beginning of the message, and we feel horrible about that.
6. Sometimes you bother us especially when you hurt the people we love. We won’t tell you this, in fact we will feel really bad for not liking you at any given point, we will agonize over it, pray about it, and figure there is something wrong with us.
7. We worry about your spiritual life, sometimes to the detriment of our own.
8. We want the church to grow more than you do. Every Sunday that attendance shrinks is another punch to the gut telling us that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t really called, and that we should just get out of this whole pastor thing. The problem is it’s not so easy to just turn off the calling that God has on our life and so we keep working and working and working.
9. Every time you bring up what the other guy did as the way it should be you are telling us that we will never really be your pastor, and that hurts.
10. We are pretty broken people that aren’t allowed to appear broken. We feel like we have to always be on, and when we aren’t on to everyone’s expectations we feel it, know it, and try working harder and longer, all of which is a detriment to our family, but we don’t know how to or are unwilling to stop juggling all the balls that is the church we are called to serve.
11. Titles, committees, and fundraisers are not nearly as important as everyone thinks they are. We do know what we are saying, we want you to know Jesus, we want you to be a part of the church because you Love Jesus more than anything. When you are doing it for any other reason we know this and it hurts because we are obviously not communicating the importance of a personal relationship with God that informs the rest of your life, in a way that helps you see how important it is and makes you want it.
12. We are scared and scarred. Scared to say the things that will hurt your feelings but ultimately help you in your life, and scarred from the times we did so and found out that you could really care less and have decided that we have no real say in your life. Again letting us know we are not your pastor.
There you go 12 things that we won’t tell you.
Now for one thing that is true beyond a shadow of a doubt, at least for me it is. We LOVE you. We LOVE you so much because it’s part of who we are and what we are made to be and what we want to do.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Pay Attention
Have you ever read something that speaks directly to where you are at the moment and you want to ignore it because you actually enjoy how you are feeling, sometimes it's fun to nurse anger, or bitterness, or frustration or euphoria or well you get the idea. When we nurse those things along in our lives it's easy to slip into all sorts of behaviors that can be detrimental to our ability to function in our daily interactions with others, and to have a healthy faith life.
I can't stand platitudes, easy answers or refusal to look at more than one side of the issue. It's so easy to find the people who you are most comfortable with, that like you and affirm you and listen to you and so immerse yourself in the subculture of comfort that we build to help ourselves make it through life. What I'm finding is that in those moments where I am most conflicted, or that the things that I am thinking and praying about are not coming into focus the way they should, or the way I think they should it's usually because I am bringing my notions of what is important, or fair, or relevant into the mix in an unhealthy way. Which brings me to what I read today and in a larger part what I have been reading lately and how it always seems to speak to the areas where my self-righteousness, and self-justification, grow the largest.
Hebrews 2:1 is another in an increasingly long line of verses that have been hitting me pretty hard lately. Not in a bad way in a wow okay I need to step back for a moment.
When I think of all the things that I have heard, all the preaching, all the teaching, all the songs, all the conferences, all of it I realize that there has been a lot that has gone into what makes me into the Christ follower I am today but like everyone else I am subject to the winds of the world, like everyone I tend to gravitate toward people who will tell me what I like to hear, that will agree with me more than call me out on the possibility that I have it wrong, the my interpretation is off that I am missing some key parts of what God is saying through a particular passage, life experience or individual.
When Paul tells us to pay even more attention to what we have heard so we don't drift away, it's easy to look at what we were, at what we grew up learning or hearing and trying to get back to it. It's easy to look at things and think that everything we were taught, all the things we understood were right after all. That our earlier interpretation of scripture, or circumstance is actually the right way of reading things, that life and growth, and change in venue really are the enemies to a deeper more relevant, personal faith life. But what if it's more than that. What if when we look at what we heard, what we grew up believing was Gospel truth, was wrong? What if some of the things that I took for granted, really shouldn't be a part of the foundation of my life, and what if some of the new things that I have started to look at and wonder about are equally misguided. If anything Hebrews 2 tells me that it's easy to drift away when we decide that one camp is all right and one camp is all wrong. There is a place for commonality, but more importantly no matter where we stand on some issues and thoughts and fights. There is a real foundation to our faith that is embodied in the following...“
Reading the verses around that verse we find that our faith is supposed to be rooted in Jesus, sometimes I get so caught up in the things that come across my Facebook feed, or a tweet from someone who I agree with, or disagree with, I get dug so deep into Orange or Patheos, or Outlaw preachers that I lose sight of the real foundation for my faith, Jesus.
My frustration with what I used to hold dear, or with what I now hold as important many times manifests in sarcasm, frustration and a predisposition to become judgmental. What I have to remember is what I have heard so I don't drift away from what really matters, from the thing that should bind all people who profess to be Christ followers, the work of God evidenced in my life through the acceptance of Jesus death, resurrection and cross. That last part can be the tricky part because if I read it right when I take up the cross, I'm placing myself in the lowest possible position. The cross invites pain, ridicule, scorn and embarrassment. The cross exposes not just my soft bits but the bits that I thought were strong, that I thought were solid and well worked. The cross not only demands but compels me to death, not once but if the Gospel of Luke is to be believed on a daily basis.
That's the thing about remembering what we have heard. We are supposed to remember it all, and when we remember those kinds of verse, at least when I do, I want to move on to something more comfortable, self-serving and easy.
I keep wondering what would happen if every day I would look at all the people who I know and love and even the ones I know and don't love and realize that if they claim Christianity we have the same foundation, and if I really am going to be the Christ follower I claim to be or want to be, I need to wake up pick up the cross, climb the hill lay down and allow the nails to be driven in or the ropes to be tied, and death to come, over and over and over again. With the hope that each time I do there is more of Jesus and less of Aaron.
I can't stand platitudes, easy answers or refusal to look at more than one side of the issue. It's so easy to find the people who you are most comfortable with, that like you and affirm you and listen to you and so immerse yourself in the subculture of comfort that we build to help ourselves make it through life. What I'm finding is that in those moments where I am most conflicted, or that the things that I am thinking and praying about are not coming into focus the way they should, or the way I think they should it's usually because I am bringing my notions of what is important, or fair, or relevant into the mix in an unhealthy way. Which brings me to what I read today and in a larger part what I have been reading lately and how it always seems to speak to the areas where my self-righteousness, and self-justification, grow the largest.
Hebrews 2:1 is another in an increasingly long line of verses that have been hitting me pretty hard lately. Not in a bad way in a wow okay I need to step back for a moment.
When I think of all the things that I have heard, all the preaching, all the teaching, all the songs, all the conferences, all of it I realize that there has been a lot that has gone into what makes me into the Christ follower I am today but like everyone else I am subject to the winds of the world, like everyone I tend to gravitate toward people who will tell me what I like to hear, that will agree with me more than call me out on the possibility that I have it wrong, the my interpretation is off that I am missing some key parts of what God is saying through a particular passage, life experience or individual.
When Paul tells us to pay even more attention to what we have heard so we don't drift away, it's easy to look at what we were, at what we grew up learning or hearing and trying to get back to it. It's easy to look at things and think that everything we were taught, all the things we understood were right after all. That our earlier interpretation of scripture, or circumstance is actually the right way of reading things, that life and growth, and change in venue really are the enemies to a deeper more relevant, personal faith life. But what if it's more than that. What if when we look at what we heard, what we grew up believing was Gospel truth, was wrong? What if some of the things that I took for granted, really shouldn't be a part of the foundation of my life, and what if some of the new things that I have started to look at and wonder about are equally misguided. If anything Hebrews 2 tells me that it's easy to drift away when we decide that one camp is all right and one camp is all wrong. There is a place for commonality, but more importantly no matter where we stand on some issues and thoughts and fights. There is a real foundation to our faith that is embodied in the following...“
And since we have the same spirit of faith in keeping with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak.”
(2 Corinthians 4:13 HCSB)
Reading the verses around that verse we find that our faith is supposed to be rooted in Jesus, sometimes I get so caught up in the things that come across my Facebook feed, or a tweet from someone who I agree with, or disagree with, I get dug so deep into Orange or Patheos, or Outlaw preachers that I lose sight of the real foundation for my faith, Jesus.
My frustration with what I used to hold dear, or with what I now hold as important many times manifests in sarcasm, frustration and a predisposition to become judgmental. What I have to remember is what I have heard so I don't drift away from what really matters, from the thing that should bind all people who profess to be Christ followers, the work of God evidenced in my life through the acceptance of Jesus death, resurrection and cross. That last part can be the tricky part because if I read it right when I take up the cross, I'm placing myself in the lowest possible position. The cross invites pain, ridicule, scorn and embarrassment. The cross exposes not just my soft bits but the bits that I thought were strong, that I thought were solid and well worked. The cross not only demands but compels me to death, not once but if the Gospel of Luke is to be believed on a daily basis.
“Then He said to them all, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross DAILY, and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23 HCSB)
That's the thing about remembering what we have heard. We are supposed to remember it all, and when we remember those kinds of verse, at least when I do, I want to move on to something more comfortable, self-serving and easy.
I keep wondering what would happen if every day I would look at all the people who I know and love and even the ones I know and don't love and realize that if they claim Christianity we have the same foundation, and if I really am going to be the Christ follower I claim to be or want to be, I need to wake up pick up the cross, climb the hill lay down and allow the nails to be driven in or the ropes to be tied, and death to come, over and over and over again. With the hope that each time I do there is more of Jesus and less of Aaron.
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Until I Wasn't
I've been writing some different things lately. This one has been kicking around in my head the last few days so I decided to go ahead ...
