Drive Time Blues

I know, I know, I'm not writing as often as I should.  I mean to, I think of things that need to be written, I plan on it but then I just dont. 

Anyway.  I am on the road for at least two hours sometimes more every day going to and from work, not that big of a deal, at least not as big a deal for Aaron from 4 years ago, I used to love it music playing quiet time, just like mowing the grass used to love doing that as well.  Used to, so much is wrapped up in used to's for me.  I used to like going to church, I used to feel usefull to God, I used to look forward to seeing other Christians or talking to them, I used to feel connected to someting more important and special.  The problem is the drive time seems to put me in remember mode, and lately that's been difficult.  I dont understand why, I dont understand how I can't remember things that were fun just snippets of them but things that were aweful and put our lives on a path that was so very not what I ever wanted it to be, but wow I can remember in detail the cruddy parts of life.  It amazes me how the human psyche tends to hang on a certain part of life and even when moving on into new endeavors and making new connections and memories the old ones pop up and make you miss people and places and things. 

I have spent that past week driving home trying to drown out aspects of the past few years, places I've been, people I have loved, jobs I have lost.  The time I used to relish for the chances it gave me to listen to music and be creative and imaginate has turned into my own private corner of hell, complete with tormenting demons that keep saying we told you so and no one will ever see you as what you once were. 

Well it's that time again.  We will see what today's drive brings, perhaps it will just be the funny lady next to me that was knitting at the red light, or even the poor shmuck that tried to drive in the HOV lane all by his lonesome in the car and noticed the cop before he went too far and tried to shoot back over to my lane, only to be stopped again.

Political Christianity

Thought I would post some thoughts about a debate I wanted to start.  I miss some of that aspect of what I used to be.  What follows is my response to a query on my facebook page that I had as my status.   I post it here because I realize that some of the individuals that read here are no longer on Facebook,  they didn't make it through the great purge,  no offence meant just in a cleaning mood.  here is the thread so far with name change to protect the other party.

Pellula:   How ironic that in most countries where Christians want to build churches, they're either persecuted and/or killed for the very thought of being a Christian and we can do nothing. Yet, a radical Muslim can come in our country, kill thousands of people and be allowed to build a mosque where it happened. Where are our rights???

Aaron: The thing that bothers me Pellula is that when Christians in other countries are persecuted their faith gets stronger, and you are correct we can do nothing in a country that has outlawed any faith but the ones that the state deems acceptable, ...having said that, the first ammendment cuts both ways and Christians don't like that. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

We like to say that our country is a Christian country, people point to the pledge of Alegience as proof, I wonder if they realize that Under God was not in the origianl but that it was added in 1954 as were other words and phrases at different times.

Christianity has it's own radical fringe just as those of the Muslim faith do. Westboro Baptist church, The KKK, Various militias. Many of these organizations claim Christianity as a base.

Our rights are right here in our country that is made up of various peoples and religions. We can't pick and choose who gets freedom of religion and who doesn't, would people have the same issue with Westboro Baptist buiding a new sanctuary across the street from where Matthew Shepherd was Murderd.

Having said all of that I also feel that it is important for Religious groups, all religous groups to think before they do someting. If there is concern over this by victims familes, not by politicians, not by pastors, but by people who lost loved ones that day, they should be willing to listen and change their plans.

Thats me in the corner...

One of the hardest parts of sitting in a church service is... well the whole thing.   It all sounds good and the realization that I was once the guy that was leading, and teaching, and praying, an doing all the church things.  I feel like that was a whole other world, that person was different, he was excited and inovative and worked hard at God and church and all of it.  I want my life back.  There is one problem with this thought process. I am in my life and it is what it is.