My first haunted house was the JC’s haunted house on the way to Niles. It was down on the right in what is now…ironically enough a church. The long low white building had room after room of “scary things,” at least I am sure there were several rooms of scary, truth is the only room I really remember was this one that had fake grass a wooden bridge and blacklight lit flowers, as you walked across the bridge you heard the telltale signs of a chainsaw and were treated to someone with a chainsaw minus the blade of course, I think they had modified it with a bike chain or something I don’t remember exactly but they came at you and I remember the chainsaw being pushed against the top of my hand as a masked stranger tried to scare us.
The other day I was told I looked haunted and sad when as we left church. It was true. I did. I probably look haunted and sad a lot when it comes to God stuff, not because of God but because of me. I realized something though. I wonder how many people secretly view church as as a haunted house. I think of all the people that have tried church and been burned (not me) that have been involved in church and fallen apart and just plain fallen even as they were in some form of leadership (me,) and all the in-between people who have been trying so hard to figure out what it is that God wants and they for some reason figure the church is the place to find that answer. Of course it should be, but to be honest many times it’s not. Church becomes scary when things aren’t what they should be both in our personal life but also in the churches life. When we look into the institution that has become the church in America, wether we like it or not there is a disconnect. A disconnect from reality, method, missive, and truth. Church people use scripture to justify a disconnect from reality, but Jesus never disconnected from the reality of his surroundings so why do we. Second Corinthians talks about coming out from among them and being separate. This would seemingly tell the church as a whole to circle the wagons, to go with the us four and no more way of life and yet there is ample evidence throughout scripture of just the opposite being what we are supposed to do. Jesus regularly ate with and spent time with sinners, he was judged for it continually. The great commission tells us to go into all the world not just go into all the churches. Paul himself talks about becoming all things to all people that he may save some.
So what does this whole come out from among them and be separate thing mean? Personally I think it has a lot more with what we do behind closed doors be it our home doors or the doors of the church. Not acting like the world acts when it comes to interaction with people who are not like us, not doubling down on behavior that justifies our personal desires or understanding of how things are supposed to be. It means that when people from outside the church actually set foot in the church or in our homes they find things different than what they would get if they walked into the club or any of the myriad 12 step programs, or trivia night at the local watering hole. It means that where they expect to find bigotry and hate and judgmental people who look down their noses at those around them they find love and acceptance and truth. A truth that does not shy away from the hard things, but that also recognizes that everyone is not at the same point in their journey. The thing is. To many churches can be like a house of horrors with the individuals that make up the church the monsters providing the jump scares and secret uncomfortable feeling of things not being right even if a person can’t put their finger on what’s wrong.
Every week year after year I planned and studied and taught and preached and sang and and and. It became who I was the planning and the studying and the preaching and the singing. The problem is, it’s not supposed to be that way. I’m not supposed to become all those things, and so there are many times that I find myself sitting in church and living with the feeling of being in a haunted house. The ghosts of Aaron past along with the monsters of what was and what could have been hiding behind every pew or chair or pulpit. The glowing cross and banners hanging on the walls less inspirational and more trappings of terror. The people all playing their unwitting part in haunting this place that is supposed to be a place where comfort, understanding, truth and healing occur.
And that is the problem. My faith is important to me. How I interact with that faith matters. I find myself getting ready for church on Sunday and there are times when it’s just easy, that I get dressed and head in and all that fun stuff, and then there are the Sundays that I have to psyche myself up. I have to look at the whole messy thing as survival. I’ll be the first to admit that all of this is because of personal feelings. It is not at all about those around me it’s on me but when the monsters start coming I can’t help but wonder how many others are sitting there with similar thoughts and feelings. That church is something to be conquered or endured rather than something to refresh and restore, even when that restoration is the result of hard questions about personal beliefs and understandings.
So how do we do it. How do we come out from among them and be all things to all people? How do we turn the haunted houses of the church into a place where things can and do change in a persons life because of the encounter they have not just with the pastor and the music and even God for that matter, but the encounter they have with others that so mirror the image of the one that they say they follow. The encounter that could make all the difference in a persons world? I don’t know. I have no clue what the answer is to that question and honestly it’s not necessarily one that I have any business wrestling with, but I still do. What that means is not something I can explain or understand and I’m not really into trying to figure it out.
And so I leave you intrepid reader. Be well and do good to the people you come in contact with.
A
