For years I was a youth and young adult pastor. I was a proud member of what can be an under appreciated, over worked and now looking back extremely clueless club, I say clueless because many in this club were quick to point out the above points, thinking that the leadership above or beside us just didn't get it, that their job security was sure, that they had lost touch with what was really important. Youth and young adult pastors the world over look down on other staff members, claiming they don't understand or know what matters, they are on the cutting edge, they aren't relevant.
I used to wear the badge of being relevant with honor. Movies and culture were something I spent time studying to keep up with the latest trends. I hate to admit it but there were times when I spent more time with Rolling Stone, GQ, EGM, and IMDB than I did with Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I would read publications about cutting edge ministry, surf for the latest trends and stay on the edge of what was at the time an emerging social media market. Offering classes to parents on Facebook, and at the time MySpace.
I used to care about being relevant...and to be honest I still do but the perspective has shifted. As a youth and young adult pastor it was easy for me, and I'm guessing for others like me to mistake relevance with early adoption. In our zeal to be relevant we equate relevance with adoption. Inevitably this takes up time, valuable time, time that could be spent being relevant in the lives of the people we are supposed to be ministering too instead of being an authority on cultural shift and the latest trends.
If I could somehow tell my younger self anything it would be to do the research, keep up with what is going on but to major in relevant relationships instead of relevance.
This all came up tonight when faced with the unending diatribe of memes and mushy platitudes attached to pictures instagramed and pinned by the 12-year-old. I know about these things. I understand their relevance, I know it's important to find ways to express yourself, and to be able to use what's around you, whats popular, whats trending to identify yourself. We were mall rats, spent nights at the skate zone, or rollerworld, played our video games a quarter at a time. Summer was for camp and movies and the drive in. The fair was all about food and rides and girls. having a phone meant your parents put a jack in your room. I had records and a component stereo in my room that was loud. Portable music was a Walkman that played tapes and the radio. CD's became main stream as I was heading to college. This was all important to me and I know my kids all have things that are all important to them, I want to interact with them on those levels in some ways but in others I really don't care. I don't want to read what someone else wrote about their bae (I just found out this isn't a lazy form of baby, or babe but means (before anyone else) I hate the word a sure sign I'm older, but that's okay. I want to be relevant in my kids life and doing so doesn't require me to adopt the latest app, or change the keyboard on my smart phone, or speak emoji, it means knowing about these things sure, and as a leader of a church that wants to be relevant in people's lives find ways to leverage these things, and the people who can do that effectively, but to be relevant in a person's life means I'm interested in them, in the things that matter to them, in their struggles, in their joys, in their pain, in their heartache and in their need. Real relevance is not about stuff or knowing about the latest, it's about being intentional in each chance we have to interact with another human being. It's about offering the love and grace and mercy and truth that Jesus is to others and then doing it again and again and again. The relevance of the gospel is a constant, sure the way we present it changes but it never does.
As I struggle to be relevant in my children's and churches life, I will be reminding myself over and over that doing so is more about being in community and less about what's cutting edge...
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Rag-doll Physics and the Bible...
One of the things that bothers me is how easy it is to fall into a comfort zone in the walk of faith. I'm pretty sure this comfort zone is found by all forms and stripes of Christianity. Liberal Christians can prove their point, Conservative Christians can do the same by grabbing a Bible and starting to spin the words and interpretations of those words to best fit the narrative that they are most comfortable with.
It's easy to find justification for all sorts of things in the Bible. It's easy to cherry pick Old Testament scriptures to authorize bigotry and hatred, just like it's easy to lay claim to a new covenant in the New Testament as license.
In the case of the former we reserve the things that make us uncomfortable as relevant and the things we enjoy as given the green light by God when the new covenant went into effect. It's pretty simple...
Leviticus 11:4–8 (NLT) — 4 You may not, however, eat the following animals that have split hooves or that chew the cud, but not both. The camel chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is ceremonially unclean for you. 5 The hyrax chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is unclean. 6 The hare chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is unclean. 7 The pig has evenly split hooves but does not chew the cud, so it is unclean. 8 You may not eat the meat of these animals or even touch their carcasses. They are ceremonially unclean for you.
I know a lot of people who love bacon...I know a lot of christian people who love bacon...I know a lot of conservative christian people who love bacon... and because of said love for bacon...this particular law is no longer relevant because that's old covenant stuff, and we live in the New Testament era...
Leviticus 18:22 (NLT) — 22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
Same book of the Bible, same law different new covenant...this one sticks the other one doesn't. The logic is flawed but the real issue isn't about logic, it's about what I think is right or wrong and if I think it's wrong and I can find a scripture to back up that I think it's wrong that's all that matters, and if I find a scripture that says what I like is wrong, especially in the Old Testament I can throw that under the new covenant deal and justify my vice.
But this problem is much bigger than the whole homosexual debate that seems to be so all important to conservative and liberal believers.
Liberal Christians argue from silence, and original language, and context because that suits their point of view, it's hard to argue with well-reasoned academic study of the issues, context, and time period and all of those things taken into account make things so much easier to believe and can bring a sense of pride in a study well done.
But there are some pesky passages that are hard to really pin down.
When I read Facebook rants from either side I feel like there has been no progress in the Christian Faith for years.
Matthew 22:34–36 (NLT) — 34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply, they met together to question him again. 35 One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
This is where I feel American Christianity is these days. So let's do some 21 Century paraphrasing.
But when the Pastors heard that the board members didn't like what Jesus was telling them, they decided to set the record straight by ranting on Facebook, Twitter, and if given the opportunity Fox News. They asked Jesus which sin God hated the most, which sin found in the Old Testament Levitical law really mattered?
What I find most interesting in this whole exchange isn't the question that the leaders asked, What I find so interesting is what Jesus said.
Matthew 22:37–40 (NLT) — 37 Jesus replied, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Let us again do some 21 Century paraphrasing:
Jesus looked at them, shook his head and said "you just don't get it, Love God Love People. It's not about what sin is the worst, it's not about that at all, it's about Loving God and People so much that you see past their Sin, past their mess, past the things that bother you about them. It's about loving God so much you want to please him, and loving people so much you will do whatever it takes to share God's love with them. Just like we're doing with this whole incarnation thing..."
Both sides of this whole debate miss the point, at least in my estimation they do. In our desire to be right about this or a myriad of other issues, we have made God one of two things...angry and vengeful, or weak and disinterested. We have taken God's word and twisted it to make our points, in doing so we have lost sight of what matters. Loving God and Loving People.
We find words like whosoever and all in the new testament but we really don't believe them.
A better reading of those passages for American Christians would be...
"For God so loved the people I'm comfortable with, that he sent his one and only son that looks like I do, that as long as they affirm my personal beliefs and refuse to question what I'm comfortable with or what makes sense to my interpretation of scripture, they get in, no questions asked."
I could go on but I won't, mainly because it's exhausting. The number of people I have hidden or just plain removed from the social media platforms I use based on Biblical arguments or Political agendas is growing every day. Far from being a place for spirited debate, or genuine concern and a desire to understand the other persons positions, it becomes a soap box, to spout a particular point of view without any real need to understand the others position, to actually get to know the person behind the point of view. It's great fun to find a group that will nod and smile, and affirm what you think and feel and believe, then load the cannons and shoot them toward the other side in hopes that the resultant explosion will blow some of them to your side and way of thinking like some rag-doll physics avatar in a first person shooter. (Not sure what I'm talking about search YouTube for halo matches you'll get what I'm saying.)
What would it look like if we decided to get to know the people we are so angry at, if we took time to actively listen to their side of things, instead of putting on the headphones of narrowhearedness and the sun glasses of only my viewpoint matters because I'm right. Jesus was right. He was always right, and yet he didn't really worry about that so much when dealing with people who needed a touch from Him. He worried more about talking to them, loving them, meeting them where they were, touching their needs, listening to what they had to say, and basically making the important people upset and frustrated because he was more concerned about the person than the problem, or the sin, or the struggle.
Think about it for a moment. Samaritan Woman, Yep I'll reach her, Roman Centurion, I got this, short tax collector everyone hates, let's do lunch, lepers, I'll talk to them, beggar sure, demon possessed crazy guy running around the grave yard scaring everyone, lets help him out, woman caught in the act, compassion given. The list can and does go on. Jesus modeled for us how we are supposed to live and move and have our being in the world. He paid his taxes, talked to anyone, loved people who were supposed to be shunned, fed people, hung out with the wrong crowd, and even loved the guy that was going to betray him.
As I struggle with my faith, as I dig into scripture I'm finding that increasingly God wants to move me toward a different paradigm. Please understand I'm not saying he's trying to move you dear reader, I would never presume to the voice and leading of the Spirit. First I find myself digging deeper into things than I used to. I've always wanted to know and advocated for a personal faith that goes beyond up-bringing, church affiliation, or any other number of factors. What has been happening with me has been this desire to understand more than I used to. Second, I'm more interested in the whole idea of loving God and loving People, than I am in Loving God and tolerating people. Some people may think I've decided to be soft on "sin" or have compromised my upbringing or convictions...Gosh I hope so. Here's why. I'm not God. Me being "soft" on sin doesn't mean I don't believe it exists, it doesn't mean I don't talk about what separates us from God, it doesn't mean I think that God has changed his mind on what sin is, what it means is I recognize that Matthew 7:1 and 2 gets skipped over way to quickly so christians can get to verse 6. For some reason we like verse 6, it helps us justify our treatment of people that we don't like or we think are unable to really know who Jesus is or have a relationship with him. Just so were all clear here's the first set of verses
7 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.
Peterson, Eugene H. The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005. Print.
I like the way the message says it, but other translations are just as clear. The harder I am on people who don't measure up to my standards the harder things are going to be for me. As far as compromising my upbringing or convictions, that's something that we all do on a regular basis, what I mean is if we are actively working on our faith, if we are pushing into God and his word, we will by necessity find our upbringing and convictions in flux, mainly because being close to God, and studying the Bible will shake up what we always "knew" it will transform our lives in ways that we don't understand and just when we think that we've made it to the spot where everything is as it should be, God will show us something else that will start the whole process over again. That's the thing about the Christian faith. It's supposed to be an active part of who we are, and in my estimation the best way to keep it from being active and alive in my life is to declare that I've got it all figured out, that I know how God thinks, and reasons, and I can therefore dispense judgment and words of wisdom that are equal to his own.
I'm just not there, and never do I hope to be. I just want to be able to live and move and walk and have my being in Jesus, I want to let him push and pull and stretch and ball up and start all over again. I want to be able to stay open to where he leads and not hold so tightly to what I know is truth that I miss the Truth leading me into a deeper more robust relationship with the God I love and serve. I have a feeling that the longer I walk this earth, the more what I have always believed will be challenged, what I do when that challenge occurs can mean the difference between being able to share my faith, and being relegated to a camp of angry religious people who should know better.
It's easy to find justification for all sorts of things in the Bible. It's easy to cherry pick Old Testament scriptures to authorize bigotry and hatred, just like it's easy to lay claim to a new covenant in the New Testament as license.
In the case of the former we reserve the things that make us uncomfortable as relevant and the things we enjoy as given the green light by God when the new covenant went into effect. It's pretty simple...
Leviticus 11:4–8 (NLT) — 4 You may not, however, eat the following animals that have split hooves or that chew the cud, but not both. The camel chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is ceremonially unclean for you. 5 The hyrax chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is unclean. 6 The hare chews the cud but does not have split hooves, so it is unclean. 7 The pig has evenly split hooves but does not chew the cud, so it is unclean. 8 You may not eat the meat of these animals or even touch their carcasses. They are ceremonially unclean for you.
I know a lot of people who love bacon...I know a lot of christian people who love bacon...I know a lot of conservative christian people who love bacon... and because of said love for bacon...this particular law is no longer relevant because that's old covenant stuff, and we live in the New Testament era...
Leviticus 18:22 (NLT) — 22 “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.
Same book of the Bible, same law different new covenant...this one sticks the other one doesn't. The logic is flawed but the real issue isn't about logic, it's about what I think is right or wrong and if I think it's wrong and I can find a scripture to back up that I think it's wrong that's all that matters, and if I find a scripture that says what I like is wrong, especially in the Old Testament I can throw that under the new covenant deal and justify my vice.
But this problem is much bigger than the whole homosexual debate that seems to be so all important to conservative and liberal believers.
Liberal Christians argue from silence, and original language, and context because that suits their point of view, it's hard to argue with well-reasoned academic study of the issues, context, and time period and all of those things taken into account make things so much easier to believe and can bring a sense of pride in a study well done.
But there are some pesky passages that are hard to really pin down.
When I read Facebook rants from either side I feel like there has been no progress in the Christian Faith for years.
Matthew 22:34–36 (NLT) — 34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply, they met together to question him again. 35 One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”
This is where I feel American Christianity is these days. So let's do some 21 Century paraphrasing.
But when the Pastors heard that the board members didn't like what Jesus was telling them, they decided to set the record straight by ranting on Facebook, Twitter, and if given the opportunity Fox News. They asked Jesus which sin God hated the most, which sin found in the Old Testament Levitical law really mattered?
What I find most interesting in this whole exchange isn't the question that the leaders asked, What I find so interesting is what Jesus said.
Matthew 22:37–40 (NLT) — 37 Jesus replied, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
Let us again do some 21 Century paraphrasing:
Jesus looked at them, shook his head and said "you just don't get it, Love God Love People. It's not about what sin is the worst, it's not about that at all, it's about Loving God and People so much that you see past their Sin, past their mess, past the things that bother you about them. It's about loving God so much you want to please him, and loving people so much you will do whatever it takes to share God's love with them. Just like we're doing with this whole incarnation thing..."
Both sides of this whole debate miss the point, at least in my estimation they do. In our desire to be right about this or a myriad of other issues, we have made God one of two things...angry and vengeful, or weak and disinterested. We have taken God's word and twisted it to make our points, in doing so we have lost sight of what matters. Loving God and Loving People.
We find words like whosoever and all in the new testament but we really don't believe them.
A better reading of those passages for American Christians would be...
"For God so loved the people I'm comfortable with, that he sent his one and only son that looks like I do, that as long as they affirm my personal beliefs and refuse to question what I'm comfortable with or what makes sense to my interpretation of scripture, they get in, no questions asked."
I could go on but I won't, mainly because it's exhausting. The number of people I have hidden or just plain removed from the social media platforms I use based on Biblical arguments or Political agendas is growing every day. Far from being a place for spirited debate, or genuine concern and a desire to understand the other persons positions, it becomes a soap box, to spout a particular point of view without any real need to understand the others position, to actually get to know the person behind the point of view. It's great fun to find a group that will nod and smile, and affirm what you think and feel and believe, then load the cannons and shoot them toward the other side in hopes that the resultant explosion will blow some of them to your side and way of thinking like some rag-doll physics avatar in a first person shooter. (Not sure what I'm talking about search YouTube for halo matches you'll get what I'm saying.)
What would it look like if we decided to get to know the people we are so angry at, if we took time to actively listen to their side of things, instead of putting on the headphones of narrowhearedness and the sun glasses of only my viewpoint matters because I'm right. Jesus was right. He was always right, and yet he didn't really worry about that so much when dealing with people who needed a touch from Him. He worried more about talking to them, loving them, meeting them where they were, touching their needs, listening to what they had to say, and basically making the important people upset and frustrated because he was more concerned about the person than the problem, or the sin, or the struggle.
Think about it for a moment. Samaritan Woman, Yep I'll reach her, Roman Centurion, I got this, short tax collector everyone hates, let's do lunch, lepers, I'll talk to them, beggar sure, demon possessed crazy guy running around the grave yard scaring everyone, lets help him out, woman caught in the act, compassion given. The list can and does go on. Jesus modeled for us how we are supposed to live and move and have our being in the world. He paid his taxes, talked to anyone, loved people who were supposed to be shunned, fed people, hung out with the wrong crowd, and even loved the guy that was going to betray him.
As I struggle with my faith, as I dig into scripture I'm finding that increasingly God wants to move me toward a different paradigm. Please understand I'm not saying he's trying to move you dear reader, I would never presume to the voice and leading of the Spirit. First I find myself digging deeper into things than I used to. I've always wanted to know and advocated for a personal faith that goes beyond up-bringing, church affiliation, or any other number of factors. What has been happening with me has been this desire to understand more than I used to. Second, I'm more interested in the whole idea of loving God and loving People, than I am in Loving God and tolerating people. Some people may think I've decided to be soft on "sin" or have compromised my upbringing or convictions...Gosh I hope so. Here's why. I'm not God. Me being "soft" on sin doesn't mean I don't believe it exists, it doesn't mean I don't talk about what separates us from God, it doesn't mean I think that God has changed his mind on what sin is, what it means is I recognize that Matthew 7:1 and 2 gets skipped over way to quickly so christians can get to verse 6. For some reason we like verse 6, it helps us justify our treatment of people that we don't like or we think are unable to really know who Jesus is or have a relationship with him. Just so were all clear here's the first set of verses
7 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging.
Peterson, Eugene H. The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005. Print.
I like the way the message says it, but other translations are just as clear. The harder I am on people who don't measure up to my standards the harder things are going to be for me. As far as compromising my upbringing or convictions, that's something that we all do on a regular basis, what I mean is if we are actively working on our faith, if we are pushing into God and his word, we will by necessity find our upbringing and convictions in flux, mainly because being close to God, and studying the Bible will shake up what we always "knew" it will transform our lives in ways that we don't understand and just when we think that we've made it to the spot where everything is as it should be, God will show us something else that will start the whole process over again. That's the thing about the Christian faith. It's supposed to be an active part of who we are, and in my estimation the best way to keep it from being active and alive in my life is to declare that I've got it all figured out, that I know how God thinks, and reasons, and I can therefore dispense judgment and words of wisdom that are equal to his own.
I'm just not there, and never do I hope to be. I just want to be able to live and move and walk and have my being in Jesus, I want to let him push and pull and stretch and ball up and start all over again. I want to be able to stay open to where he leads and not hold so tightly to what I know is truth that I miss the Truth leading me into a deeper more robust relationship with the God I love and serve. I have a feeling that the longer I walk this earth, the more what I have always believed will be challenged, what I do when that challenge occurs can mean the difference between being able to share my faith, and being relegated to a camp of angry religious people who should know better.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Doodling in the dirt...
John 8:1–11 (NLT) — 1 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” 6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
Justice, tolerance, fairness, equality. Words that we champion, and well we should, not as a possible shot in the arm for our churches, not because it's politically correct, not because doing so makes us feel good, but because they are at the heart of the one we serve.
When Jesus came on the scene, he forever altered the course of faith for the world. The to do list shrank, the rule book that took pages and pages was boiled down to something very easy to understand..
Matthew 22:37–40 (NLT) — 37 Jesus replied, “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
The story that we read in John 8:1-11 has all the makings of a big problem for Jesus. Let's paraphrase,
A local group of ministers got together and decided that they didn't like what the new guy was doing, the crowds for his services were bigger, he was healing people on the sabbath, his followers were eating and drinking, they weren't as particular about washing their hands the way they were supposed to. The teacher himself was known to eat with people who were different than what was acceptable for a person of his stature, a person of his origin to eat with. He conversed with women, hung out with tax collectors, was friends with a zealot, healed indiscriminately. Jesus was inclusive. The pastors and churches of the day were not. They set up stringent sets of rules and regulations, the price for getting in with God was to follow the prescribed teaches of any set of leaders. Jews didn't associate with Samaritans, Samaritans didn't worship with Jews, Romans were the enemy even while the religious leaders cozied up to them because of the power they held.
If this all looks familiar it's not surprising. Look around us. Without real effort on the part of leaders churches today are in the same place. Worried more about playing to the base than reaching to the world.
The leaders in John 8, think they have found a loophole, a way to bring Jesus into line with the way things are supposed to be. To put everyone back in their place...so they bring into the middle of their fight a woman they rip her from her situation, turn her into her sin and throw her at Jesus feet, then dare him to speak one word of Love, or acceptance, forgiveness. They know they have him, they know that now he has to make a choice. Following the law to the letter means that they must throw rocks at this poor soul until she dies, ignoring the law removes any credibility Jesus has with the "faithful" that have gotten caught up in the mania that seemed to follow this prophet from Nazareth.
This happens in our world today far too much. Churches, and denominations and communities draw lines. You either condemn all or accept all, there is no place for growth, no place for dialog, or working and walking in the path of salvation that must be a daily occurrence. We allow the media, twitter, and Facebook to write the narrative of how we deal with people that are different than we are. We follow the path of least resistance, catering to the base. The problem with this is that the person we claim to follow, the God that spoke the words whosoever, has called us to so much more.
Look at what Jesus does when the world around him, tells him how he is supposed to act, how he is supposed to treat someone that is different than he is. He bends down and begins to write in the dirt. Jesus starts doodling. He makes it clear to the loud angry group of people, that what they think and what they have to say really isn't all that important to him. He is not going to be trapped...and they do what so many do. They get louder, they may have brought in a few more people giving volume to their loudness, they force the issue, and it is here that we find Jesus showing us the best way to deal with so many of the issues we face in our communities of faith today.
He stands up for the woman, and in doing so brings each of those that would separate her from the community because of her issues, because of her failings, because of her choices by simply telling them fine... If you want to live by the letter of the laws that you claim to follow go for it...but...
That three letter word is one of the most important and powerful words in our language as Christ followers. Jesus tells the to follow the law but only if they have never sinned, only if they have never had a problem, only if they have always lived perfectly, never thinking a bad thought, never doing something that was wrong. I love what happens in the story, we all should. It says that the people clambering for this womans blood, dropped their rocks and took off, one at a time beginning with the oldest until the only person left was Jesus and the woman.
I often times imagine Jesus standing up dusting his hands against his robes, and then reaching out to the woman that was the center of attention for no other reason but the fact that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time, she was different, she made some bad choices and in doing so became a cause instead of person. He looks at her and tells her she is loved, she is not condemned she is free, but he doesn't stop there, he also tells her to leave a changed person, to go and sin no more. To stop making the choices that brought her to his feet in the first place.
We can find ourselves in each player of this story. There are times we are the angry crowd, demanding to be heard demanding to be affirmed by God. We want to be told we are right and all others are wrong. When we are there we need to ask ourselves if Jesus is doodling in the dirt as we spout our case before him.
We can find ourselves in the woman thrown down at the feet of Jesus, shamed because of who we are or what we look like or the choices that we have made. In those times we may feel shame, or injustice, or anger or bitterness more than any other moment but mostly we find ourselves experiencing fear. At these times we need only to remember that Jesus was clear about the two commandments that were most important, those two commands are wrapped in Love and as we know Love casts out fear.
Finally there are times in our lives that we find ourselves in the shoes of the savior. With the world around us demanding we choose a side, demanding we accept or condemn based on what society, or religion tells us we are supposed to do. At these moments we would do well to remember that Jesus got down in the dirt next to the woman, he tuned out the noise and the demands of others, and was present with her where she was.
Today as we think about what has been happening across our nation, as we think of the divide that has opened up between communities, about the justifiable anger, the call to action the demand for justice. Let us all take a page from the one we follows play book. Let us kneel down when people want us to choose a side because we are supposed to and write in the dirt. In doing so we choose the side of Love, and grace, and mercy, a realization that we all have one thing in common, no matter who we are, where we were born or what we look like we all must have the grace of the savior applied to our lives, and then must love him and love others with all that is in us. We must doodle in the dirt as it were, because in doing so we take the power away from the loud voices, demanding we be like them, feel like them. Instead if we will doodle in the dirt we will be able to find a new way to bridge a gap that never should have been there in the first place in communities of faith.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Do you hear what I hear?
There's a well-known and by some much-loved Christmas song by the same name as the title of this post. It's a pretty neat song, all the different traditional players in the advent story asking the question do you hear what I hear?
In the song it's all about hearing and seeing and knowing God. The fact that God is wrapped in flesh, and not adult already grown up and self-sufficient flesh, or Kal El (obscure reference 50 points if you can google it fast enough) flesh, impervious to all the bad stuff the earth could throw at it, but human baby flesh, needs to be cared for needs to be nurtured, needs to be protected flesh, is one of those stumbling blocks to faith for some people. Understandably so, as humans we come at the idea of power and influence from the wrong end, and every time we do we end up banging our heads against the wall trying to figure out why people don't realize we are right and they are wrong.
This question though is one that needs to be asked on a daily basis, in regards to all of our relationships. We should constantly ask ourselves do you hear what I hear, because when we don't hear what the other person in the conversation means we aren't really listening to them. There's a huge difference between hearing and listening. I hear all sorts of things, but I don't listen to all the things I hear.
I keep hearing echos of good things to come in the church, but sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing what I want to hear as opposed to listening for the truth.
Yesterday I heard what was being said, but I didn't listen. The kinetic sculpture race was going on in Baltimore. We found out it was yesterday because as I was heading over to the church I saw some of the participants lining up and getting ready to head out. I called J and let her know it was a bummer that they moved the race from a Saturday to a Sunday. We wouldn't be seeing it like we thought we would. Drove on ahead to the church with Z and proceeded to get ready for service.
J meanwhile got ready to come to church and also took time to grab clothes for everyone and figure out how to make seeing part of the race a reality. She's good at that kind of thing, the problem is I didn't listen to what she was saying when church was over. What she was saying was I love you, I know you like this kind of thing, I know we talked about wanting to see this, and it would be a really cool experience. I found out the best places to watch the race, there are some spots I would like to go and see what happens, and I want to go to those places with you and the girls. Lets spend time as a family doing something cool.
I didn't listen to what she said though, I heard the plans, but didn't listen to the intent behind them, and in the reaction missed out on all that could have been. For that I am sorry.
I don't really have to wonder if we do this with God. It's a given that we do. We didn't listen to what was being said with the birth of Jesus, we didn't listen to what was being said when Jesus at 12 talked to people much older and amazed them, or to the meaning behind his response to his mother when she and Joseph found him. We don't listen to what was being said through 3.5 years of ministry, each miracle each parable, each interaction with people who were not supposed to be in the club spoke volumes but for the most part we don't listen to what's being said. We don't really listen to what Jesus said through the Passover meal, the washing of all the disciples feet, the love for every one of the disciples, including Judas, we don't listen to that, we hear it but we don't listen to it. It's easy to hear that Jesus died for our sins, to hear the words that were spoken by those in authority at the time. It's easy to hear what Herod, or Pilate or Caiaphas said, but to listen to it is a different thing.
If I listen to what Jesus said though every one of these interactions mentioned and the ones I didn't bring up, I would begin to realize how important it is to bring the things Jesus found most important into my life, my family's life, and my churches life. Love God. Love People. Those are the things that matter most. All the stuff people of faith fight about, who's right and who's wrong, who is properly interpreting the little nuances of scripture correctly, who realizes Jesus was really a socialist, or Jesus was really a free market economist, or really an ultra conservative, or an ultra liberal. If all of us would stop hearing what scripture says and instead listen to what it says, if I would do a much better job at listening to what it says I think things would look very different in our community. Our church may not burst at the seams but the people around us would know that we are here for them. That we love them, that we aren't going to judge them, because we have large enough planks in our own eyes. They may begin to understand better what Jesus was really saying through his life and ministry on the earth.
Years ago I heard an analogy used to describe what happens in so many churches, even the ones that say all are welcome. We want people to get cleaned up before they take a bath. If you're from a more conservative right-wing literal interpretation of scripture and all that goes with it, anyone coming into your circle needs to weed out the things that don't line up with the way you read and interpret scripture. There's no room for inclusion, or questioning the mode of creation, the veracity of an earth covering flood, the reality of all humanity being descended from Adam and Eve. If you're from a more liberal left-wing socialistic form of Christianity, it's difficult to include or want to include people who hold to a more fundamental, literal interpretation of scripture. Letting them into the circle may mean you are not open and affirming enough, that the importance of social justice, and inclusiveness trumps the importance of building authentic community with a person who may be actively seeking a deeper faith more able to handle difficult questions with more than because my pastor said so.
If we would really listen to what God is saying through scripture, I think we would be a lot less sure of ourselves. I think we would be willing to admit that we don't know or understand. I think we would be more willing to do away with the things that cause entire groups of people to look at the Christian faith as antiquated and not for them, because it's populated with uncaring unfeeling unenlightened bigots, or wishy-washy, I'm okay, you're okay many paths don't offend anyone hippy's.
I want to listen to what the Spirit is saying to the church, not hear what the administration is saying to the constituents. I know there are people like that out there, the problem is if we start a group of anti-americhirstians, we too would be in grave danger of hearing what we want to hear instead of listening to what He wants us to do...
When Jesus left he told us to do something, he said go and make disciples. What we all seemed to hear was go and grow a church, populate it with people who look, sound and act like you, and then try and bring people in and get them to become more like you...not more like Him...
Jesus would be just as comfortable hanging out with Pat Robertson as he would with Jeff Hood. We're the ones who can't bear to put up with people that we don't agree with or understand or like. Where we see rivals Jesus sees broken, where we see reason to exclude Jesus sees reason to embrace, where we see place to pass judgment Jesus sees place to apply grace.
I have friends on both sides of the fight as it were. I don't go far enough for some, I go to far for others. I am still working through some of the big religio-politcal questions of the day and i'm okay with that. I'm okay with not agreeing with any one side all the way. I can't go all in on either side, mainly because both sides are flawed. The only thing I can really go all in on is my love for Christ, my desire to be more like him, to struggle and walk and fall and get back up and keep going. To ask for forgiveness when I need to, to offer grace when it's warranted and even when it's not, to Love God and to Love people. That's where listening has brought me.
In the song it's all about hearing and seeing and knowing God. The fact that God is wrapped in flesh, and not adult already grown up and self-sufficient flesh, or Kal El (obscure reference 50 points if you can google it fast enough) flesh, impervious to all the bad stuff the earth could throw at it, but human baby flesh, needs to be cared for needs to be nurtured, needs to be protected flesh, is one of those stumbling blocks to faith for some people. Understandably so, as humans we come at the idea of power and influence from the wrong end, and every time we do we end up banging our heads against the wall trying to figure out why people don't realize we are right and they are wrong.
This question though is one that needs to be asked on a daily basis, in regards to all of our relationships. We should constantly ask ourselves do you hear what I hear, because when we don't hear what the other person in the conversation means we aren't really listening to them. There's a huge difference between hearing and listening. I hear all sorts of things, but I don't listen to all the things I hear.
I keep hearing echos of good things to come in the church, but sometimes I wonder if I'm hearing what I want to hear as opposed to listening for the truth.
Yesterday I heard what was being said, but I didn't listen. The kinetic sculpture race was going on in Baltimore. We found out it was yesterday because as I was heading over to the church I saw some of the participants lining up and getting ready to head out. I called J and let her know it was a bummer that they moved the race from a Saturday to a Sunday. We wouldn't be seeing it like we thought we would. Drove on ahead to the church with Z and proceeded to get ready for service.
J meanwhile got ready to come to church and also took time to grab clothes for everyone and figure out how to make seeing part of the race a reality. She's good at that kind of thing, the problem is I didn't listen to what she was saying when church was over. What she was saying was I love you, I know you like this kind of thing, I know we talked about wanting to see this, and it would be a really cool experience. I found out the best places to watch the race, there are some spots I would like to go and see what happens, and I want to go to those places with you and the girls. Lets spend time as a family doing something cool.
I didn't listen to what she said though, I heard the plans, but didn't listen to the intent behind them, and in the reaction missed out on all that could have been. For that I am sorry.
I don't really have to wonder if we do this with God. It's a given that we do. We didn't listen to what was being said with the birth of Jesus, we didn't listen to what was being said when Jesus at 12 talked to people much older and amazed them, or to the meaning behind his response to his mother when she and Joseph found him. We don't listen to what was being said through 3.5 years of ministry, each miracle each parable, each interaction with people who were not supposed to be in the club spoke volumes but for the most part we don't listen to what's being said. We don't really listen to what Jesus said through the Passover meal, the washing of all the disciples feet, the love for every one of the disciples, including Judas, we don't listen to that, we hear it but we don't listen to it. It's easy to hear that Jesus died for our sins, to hear the words that were spoken by those in authority at the time. It's easy to hear what Herod, or Pilate or Caiaphas said, but to listen to it is a different thing.
If I listen to what Jesus said though every one of these interactions mentioned and the ones I didn't bring up, I would begin to realize how important it is to bring the things Jesus found most important into my life, my family's life, and my churches life. Love God. Love People. Those are the things that matter most. All the stuff people of faith fight about, who's right and who's wrong, who is properly interpreting the little nuances of scripture correctly, who realizes Jesus was really a socialist, or Jesus was really a free market economist, or really an ultra conservative, or an ultra liberal. If all of us would stop hearing what scripture says and instead listen to what it says, if I would do a much better job at listening to what it says I think things would look very different in our community. Our church may not burst at the seams but the people around us would know that we are here for them. That we love them, that we aren't going to judge them, because we have large enough planks in our own eyes. They may begin to understand better what Jesus was really saying through his life and ministry on the earth.
Years ago I heard an analogy used to describe what happens in so many churches, even the ones that say all are welcome. We want people to get cleaned up before they take a bath. If you're from a more conservative right-wing literal interpretation of scripture and all that goes with it, anyone coming into your circle needs to weed out the things that don't line up with the way you read and interpret scripture. There's no room for inclusion, or questioning the mode of creation, the veracity of an earth covering flood, the reality of all humanity being descended from Adam and Eve. If you're from a more liberal left-wing socialistic form of Christianity, it's difficult to include or want to include people who hold to a more fundamental, literal interpretation of scripture. Letting them into the circle may mean you are not open and affirming enough, that the importance of social justice, and inclusiveness trumps the importance of building authentic community with a person who may be actively seeking a deeper faith more able to handle difficult questions with more than because my pastor said so.
If we would really listen to what God is saying through scripture, I think we would be a lot less sure of ourselves. I think we would be willing to admit that we don't know or understand. I think we would be more willing to do away with the things that cause entire groups of people to look at the Christian faith as antiquated and not for them, because it's populated with uncaring unfeeling unenlightened bigots, or wishy-washy, I'm okay, you're okay many paths don't offend anyone hippy's.
I want to listen to what the Spirit is saying to the church, not hear what the administration is saying to the constituents. I know there are people like that out there, the problem is if we start a group of anti-americhirstians, we too would be in grave danger of hearing what we want to hear instead of listening to what He wants us to do...
When Jesus left he told us to do something, he said go and make disciples. What we all seemed to hear was go and grow a church, populate it with people who look, sound and act like you, and then try and bring people in and get them to become more like you...not more like Him...
Jesus would be just as comfortable hanging out with Pat Robertson as he would with Jeff Hood. We're the ones who can't bear to put up with people that we don't agree with or understand or like. Where we see rivals Jesus sees broken, where we see reason to exclude Jesus sees reason to embrace, where we see place to pass judgment Jesus sees place to apply grace.
I have friends on both sides of the fight as it were. I don't go far enough for some, I go to far for others. I am still working through some of the big religio-politcal questions of the day and i'm okay with that. I'm okay with not agreeing with any one side all the way. I can't go all in on either side, mainly because both sides are flawed. The only thing I can really go all in on is my love for Christ, my desire to be more like him, to struggle and walk and fall and get back up and keep going. To ask for forgiveness when I need to, to offer grace when it's warranted and even when it's not, to Love God and to Love people. That's where listening has brought me.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Circle the Wagons...Ready Aim...
Two back to back posts in May, and then nothing not for lack of wanting, more for lack of motive...I am making a conscious effort to do less angsty pastor rants against the machine that is the American Christianity. I'm amazed at how easy it is to write those posts.
This week though is ripe for some sort of post. Christianity in our country has of course been attacked on two fronts...Once again the media is being unfair to people of faith...once again the media is giving a pass to a celebrity that has undergone a procedure, ushering in what is sure to be the end of most favored status in the eyes of God that our country has so enjoyed...
The real question I have been asking for the past few days is this...would they be welcome in my church?
For the record, I have never been a fan of the Duggars...I have pretty much always felt that their choices are irresponsible, at the same time, if they can afford the lifestyle that they chose to live, not put a drain on much needed social programs for people struggling, then well it's their business, I may not like it, I may not agree with it, I may have huge issues with having so many kids that there is no possible way to adequately parent them.. but part of the joy of living in our country is freedom to choose and well they have chosen. Some would say that my concerns and theirs have been born out, that their unorthodox lifestyle has caught up to them... Whatever...Conservative Xtians have been circling the wagons, claiming forgiveness, calling the media out for breaking the story...the family has come to the defense of their son and brother and husband, depending on who they are...and they should that's part of being a family, but attempting to play the victim card bugs me, shifting the blame also bothers me, and while some are gleeful that this once prominent family has fallen, I find myself sad, and wondering. What would happen if any one of them or all 19 plus walked into Locust Point Community Church tomorrow? What would I say , what would I do? How would I approach them, how would I pass judgment, and do I even have a reason too? I maintain no. I do not NOT NOT for a moment say that what happened years ago is okay, I don't think they did the right thing, I don't think that they did what was best for their family or their son, but if I really believe what I say I believe, if I really believe that Jesus grace is for all, if whosoever means whosoever what do I do with that? I hate to say it but if they walked into my church I would probably cringe...that's not cool...Jesus didn't cringe when the woman was thrown at his feet, he stooped down and started writing in the dirt...
Speaking of women...if xtians have circled the wagons with the Duggars, they have Loaded for Bear with Caitlin / Bruce Jenner...I risk offending everyone I know with this next bit but this blog is as much for me as it is for others, and if reader stats are any indication, well anyway love it when people read my blog, wish more would. What would I do if any of the Jenners walked into Locust Point Community Church tomorrow morning? What if Caitlin walked into my church, sat in the back and just listened? I'll admit to having an issue with his choice. The Christ follower Pastor part of me truly believes that God designs us. That comes from here...
Psalm 139:13–16 (NLT) — 13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Bruce's choice bothers me, because it seems he is telling God...you were wrong...that may be an elementary understanding and it may bother some of my friends... I'm okay with that. I am equally bothered by the people who are claiming that Bruce's choice is equal to the end of the world as we know it. If what I read in Psalm 139:16 is true then God knew this was going to happen. Caitlin is also a whosoever...and if I really believe that, then I have to know that God loves Caitlin where she is right now...and that God loved Bruce right where he was before the whole journey started. It means that God will continue to love and reach and want a relationship with Caitlin, even though she chose to tell God he was wrong...If God loves her that much, if he is willing to reach to her then my calling and job is clear. Do I think this choice was brave...not really, should Caitlin have been given an award for courage...not in my book but hey it's not my network, and really in the grand scheme of things does it matter...a person that has a relationship with God that is real and active is what we should all be striving for, and if we say we are Christ followers, hoping to bring others into, including Caitlin Jenner...At the risk of sounding simple. Jenner with an award and no relationship with God is the same as Jenner without an award and no relationship with God, a tragedy.
As a Christian and Pastor, I have it all wrong. Not wanting either the Duggars or the Jenners in my church on a Sunday morning speaks to a lack of faith on my part. It's not my job to defend or prosecute either one of them. It's my job, my calling, and should be my heart to pray for them, to stand in the gap for them. Regardless of how I feel about both situations, they are all whosoever's...but hey so am I...so are you...
This week though is ripe for some sort of post. Christianity in our country has of course been attacked on two fronts...Once again the media is being unfair to people of faith...once again the media is giving a pass to a celebrity that has undergone a procedure, ushering in what is sure to be the end of most favored status in the eyes of God that our country has so enjoyed...
The real question I have been asking for the past few days is this...would they be welcome in my church?
For the record, I have never been a fan of the Duggars...I have pretty much always felt that their choices are irresponsible, at the same time, if they can afford the lifestyle that they chose to live, not put a drain on much needed social programs for people struggling, then well it's their business, I may not like it, I may not agree with it, I may have huge issues with having so many kids that there is no possible way to adequately parent them.. but part of the joy of living in our country is freedom to choose and well they have chosen. Some would say that my concerns and theirs have been born out, that their unorthodox lifestyle has caught up to them... Whatever...Conservative Xtians have been circling the wagons, claiming forgiveness, calling the media out for breaking the story...the family has come to the defense of their son and brother and husband, depending on who they are...and they should that's part of being a family, but attempting to play the victim card bugs me, shifting the blame also bothers me, and while some are gleeful that this once prominent family has fallen, I find myself sad, and wondering. What would happen if any one of them or all 19 plus walked into Locust Point Community Church tomorrow? What would I say , what would I do? How would I approach them, how would I pass judgment, and do I even have a reason too? I maintain no. I do not NOT NOT for a moment say that what happened years ago is okay, I don't think they did the right thing, I don't think that they did what was best for their family or their son, but if I really believe what I say I believe, if I really believe that Jesus grace is for all, if whosoever means whosoever what do I do with that? I hate to say it but if they walked into my church I would probably cringe...that's not cool...Jesus didn't cringe when the woman was thrown at his feet, he stooped down and started writing in the dirt...
Speaking of women...if xtians have circled the wagons with the Duggars, they have Loaded for Bear with Caitlin / Bruce Jenner...I risk offending everyone I know with this next bit but this blog is as much for me as it is for others, and if reader stats are any indication, well anyway love it when people read my blog, wish more would. What would I do if any of the Jenners walked into Locust Point Community Church tomorrow morning? What if Caitlin walked into my church, sat in the back and just listened? I'll admit to having an issue with his choice. The Christ follower Pastor part of me truly believes that God designs us. That comes from here...
Psalm 139:13–16 (NLT) — 13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Bruce's choice bothers me, because it seems he is telling God...you were wrong...that may be an elementary understanding and it may bother some of my friends... I'm okay with that. I am equally bothered by the people who are claiming that Bruce's choice is equal to the end of the world as we know it. If what I read in Psalm 139:16 is true then God knew this was going to happen. Caitlin is also a whosoever...and if I really believe that, then I have to know that God loves Caitlin where she is right now...and that God loved Bruce right where he was before the whole journey started. It means that God will continue to love and reach and want a relationship with Caitlin, even though she chose to tell God he was wrong...If God loves her that much, if he is willing to reach to her then my calling and job is clear. Do I think this choice was brave...not really, should Caitlin have been given an award for courage...not in my book but hey it's not my network, and really in the grand scheme of things does it matter...a person that has a relationship with God that is real and active is what we should all be striving for, and if we say we are Christ followers, hoping to bring others into, including Caitlin Jenner...At the risk of sounding simple. Jenner with an award and no relationship with God is the same as Jenner without an award and no relationship with God, a tragedy.
As a Christian and Pastor, I have it all wrong. Not wanting either the Duggars or the Jenners in my church on a Sunday morning speaks to a lack of faith on my part. It's not my job to defend or prosecute either one of them. It's my job, my calling, and should be my heart to pray for them, to stand in the gap for them. Regardless of how I feel about both situations, they are all whosoever's...but hey so am I...so are you...
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
The Hands Get Higher
I know this is a second post in a week. I also know that I have in the past talked about posting more often. I would love to say that this is the beginning of bi-weekly updates, and while that is a goal, it's not one that I'm going to commit too. Just know that I have a desire to write more and will do so as much as I can... Anyway on to it.
I have had this really cool opportunity to spend time with my daughters, and to watch them get bigger and all that good stuff. At 41, I'm a pretty blessed guy on many fronts.
![20150426_154831[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150426_1548311.jpg?w=168)
![20150426_154556[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150426_1545561.jpg?w=168)
![20150215_163000[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150215_1630001.jpg?w=300)
There is a problem though when you have daughters and only daughters, something happens, they break you... Now I don't mean in the sense that they break your will to live, although I would have to say that there are times that seems true. I mean they break your manly bravado... you know what I mean, that stoic, manly not going to cry thing. In the past years I have been more and more prone to shedding a few tears at movies, tv shows, songs, or just looking at my girls come down the stairs dressed for some outing.
I've asked all of them to stay small...and well none of them have. I can pretty much say with certainty that the oldest 2 didn't really want to and would roll their eyes and all that good stuff. Not Me Me. I told her the other day to stay just this size, as I swept her up in my arms and held her close. She said okay daddy I'll stop growing... It's funny all three of my girls are mine, but Me Me is a different kind of mine if that makes sense. Likely because she's the last one, anyway. She has promised me she won't get any bigger, and as cute as it is and as much as I wish it were true, as much as I wish I could freeze time for all three of us and keep us in some sort of stasis bubble, the reality of life keeps forcing itself into my world.
One of my favorite things to do is hold my kids hands. I don't know why it just is the way it is. I like holding their little hands. Equally awesome is when they grab one of my fingers. With the oldest two there came a time when they decided that holding dad's hand wasn't all that cool a thing to do. One of my favorite things is when they forget that they are supposed to not need or want to hold my hand any more and they just grab my hand as we walk down the sidewalk, those moments are just really spectacular and I'm usually pretty glad I have sunglasses that cover my eyes pretty much completely at that point. With each of them I've been fascinated by the way the hands get higher...and as they do I find myself becoming less needed, as the days slip by, as they grow, as they change as they move past their dad, I find loads of pride in my soul, but I also find a profound sense of melancholy, or maybe it's just a pity party for myself because I realize that there is coming a day that I will have to give them to someone else. That there will be a dance, and a kiss, and a handing off and well, then I'll move to a different place of importance in their life, my influence will diminish, instead of hey dad look, instead of the myriad crafts that Zoey makes, instead of the 12-year-old plopping on the couch to hang with dad and asking to play a game or watching a show, instead of Me Me running into the room telling me she had the awesomest dream with wolf and a cheetah, it'll be hey dad how's it going, hows mom well have a good day bye.
Today it hit me three times , Amberly has her first phone, Zoey has her first dance, and Me Me's hand isn't nearly as low as it should be, no matter how much she promises she is going to break that promise, and while I want all my children to keep their word, this is one that I will have to deal with being broken. In fact this is one that I want her to break, because as much as I love all three of them, as much as I want to keep them all to myself, that wouldn't be fair.
I have awesome girls, and the world needs them, it needs their creativity, and strength and love, and faith. It needs them. It just hope and pray that they will realize that I need them too. That every so often they need to come back and plop on the couch, or grab my hand walking down the sidewalk, or tell me hey dad I had the awesomest dream.
I have had this really cool opportunity to spend time with my daughters, and to watch them get bigger and all that good stuff. At 41, I'm a pretty blessed guy on many fronts.
![20150426_154831[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150426_1548311.jpg)
![20150426_154556[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150426_1545561.jpg)
![20150215_163000[1]](https://anewell.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/20150215_1630001.jpg)
There is a problem though when you have daughters and only daughters, something happens, they break you... Now I don't mean in the sense that they break your will to live, although I would have to say that there are times that seems true. I mean they break your manly bravado... you know what I mean, that stoic, manly not going to cry thing. In the past years I have been more and more prone to shedding a few tears at movies, tv shows, songs, or just looking at my girls come down the stairs dressed for some outing.
I've asked all of them to stay small...and well none of them have. I can pretty much say with certainty that the oldest 2 didn't really want to and would roll their eyes and all that good stuff. Not Me Me. I told her the other day to stay just this size, as I swept her up in my arms and held her close. She said okay daddy I'll stop growing... It's funny all three of my girls are mine, but Me Me is a different kind of mine if that makes sense. Likely because she's the last one, anyway. She has promised me she won't get any bigger, and as cute as it is and as much as I wish it were true, as much as I wish I could freeze time for all three of us and keep us in some sort of stasis bubble, the reality of life keeps forcing itself into my world.
One of my favorite things to do is hold my kids hands. I don't know why it just is the way it is. I like holding their little hands. Equally awesome is when they grab one of my fingers. With the oldest two there came a time when they decided that holding dad's hand wasn't all that cool a thing to do. One of my favorite things is when they forget that they are supposed to not need or want to hold my hand any more and they just grab my hand as we walk down the sidewalk, those moments are just really spectacular and I'm usually pretty glad I have sunglasses that cover my eyes pretty much completely at that point. With each of them I've been fascinated by the way the hands get higher...and as they do I find myself becoming less needed, as the days slip by, as they grow, as they change as they move past their dad, I find loads of pride in my soul, but I also find a profound sense of melancholy, or maybe it's just a pity party for myself because I realize that there is coming a day that I will have to give them to someone else. That there will be a dance, and a kiss, and a handing off and well, then I'll move to a different place of importance in their life, my influence will diminish, instead of hey dad look, instead of the myriad crafts that Zoey makes, instead of the 12-year-old plopping on the couch to hang with dad and asking to play a game or watching a show, instead of Me Me running into the room telling me she had the awesomest dream with wolf and a cheetah, it'll be hey dad how's it going, hows mom well have a good day bye.
Today it hit me three times , Amberly has her first phone, Zoey has her first dance, and Me Me's hand isn't nearly as low as it should be, no matter how much she promises she is going to break that promise, and while I want all my children to keep their word, this is one that I will have to deal with being broken. In fact this is one that I want her to break, because as much as I love all three of them, as much as I want to keep them all to myself, that wouldn't be fair.
I have awesome girls, and the world needs them, it needs their creativity, and strength and love, and faith. It needs them. It just hope and pray that they will realize that I need them too. That every so often they need to come back and plop on the couch, or grab my hand walking down the sidewalk, or tell me hey dad I had the awesomest dream.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Oranging Out...
The last few weeks have been bitter sweet. The end of April beginning of May is one of my favorite times of the year, mainly because of Orange Conference. This year though the week started off on a sad note, as I sat with a family in my church waiting for the news that one of their loved ones passed from an unexpected accident. In addition to all of that we live and minister in Baltimore. The week of Orange also was one of the most intense weeks in the city, and our kids were staying in the City with my mother in law. They were perfectly safe, in our insulated community in the city limits, a fact that makes me happy, knowing they were safe, and sad because we were so disconnected from the hurt and anger and seeming hopelessness felt by a city and a people who have been misused and mistreated for hundreds of years.
I look forward Orange, I told J that I live from Orange to Orange. Being a pastor in a church in the city, a church that has been struggling, a church that is getting it's footing and will be doing some great things, but isn't there yet. I get tired. I get worn out, and I feel an intense need to come to an oasis. Orange has been that oasis. I can join with other people who get it, nurse my delusions of one day being an Orange Specialist, or even being able to share the struggles of a pastor working hard to change an entire culture not just in his church but in the community that church serves. allow me to qualify that last statement. I love the people in my church. I love that they are there, have been faithful for years, I know that there have to be some radical changes if the church is going to be relevant and remain in the neighborhood in the next 5 years. They do too, but change is hard, and we all can recognize the need to change, and even agree that it needs to happen but that doesn't mean we like it, and can support it.
That's something else that I am learning. Knowing and wanting to do something, or wanting to be able to do something doesn't mean we can do it. Sometimes we have to let go of what we have, realize that we can't make the transition, but allow that transition to be made regardless. Increasingly I am finding that one of the most important things that I can do in the coming months and years is help people not just see the need, not just accept the need but embrace the fact that their roots may be too deep, that the change is going to be more than they can handle, and is it fair for me to expect them to just suck it up and handle it? For people who have been in the church, have seen the church in good times, and seen it steadily decline, is it realistic to get them to completely give themselves over to the new things that must be done? I don't think so. It comes down to the idea of old wine and new wine, no one says the old wine is bad, on the contrary the aged wine has some great qualities, people look for a good year when they look for a good wine and rarely is that year the one that they are currently in, but the old wine has also made it to a stage that it is what it's going to be regardless you can move it from one container to another but that's about it, there isn't much change left. New wine is different, it takes time to become what it is going to be, it has to go through the process of growing into what it is going to become. Which is where we find ourselves currently in our church. There are new things that have to happen and it's hard for people to jump on board, it doesn't make them bad people at all, on the contrary they have been and remain faithful, it just means that moving forward we have to be creative, planting something new, growing a different kind of church along side the existing church. Which leads us to looking at who we are and what we are doing as a new church plant in some ways. The tension between the two can, at times be a bit overwhelming, but the pay offs are also well worth the investment, at least to me they are.
I love the people that have been in the church for years, I love the community of Locust Point and I can say that the people both new and old in this part of the city have a place in my heart that is hard to explain. I see people in any number of the local pubs, or walking their dog, or playing with their kids in the park, or sitting on their stoops and I have a collective desire to see all of them come to terms with God. I want the church we are and the church we aspire to be, to be one of the navigation helps on the road to relationship with God. I'm sure it can happen and we will continue to walk through the tension of the old and the new with the grace that God gives without measure, I just hope that I can apply some of the same grace when I get frustrated, lol.
Orange gives me an opportunity to hang out with people who see what can be, to be poured into by people who have been there, or are traveling that same road. This year I was able to take J with me which was pretty cool, I wanted to take more from the church but with all that was going on back here it is easy to understand why that just wasn't really possible, hopefully next year. Every part of Orange is enjoyable to me, from the worship to the speakers in the main sessions, to the breakouts all of it is great, but this year two things stood out, things that for many would seem unimportant, but for someone who craves connection with like minded people made the conference all the more special.
Thing 1. We went to a hang out session with Carey Nieuwhof, great author really neat guy and someone I follow pretty extensively through blog, book, and pod cast. I've commented on his blog and been really excited each time he has mentioned the post in some way. When we got there he saw my name tag said hi but also remembered me from the other interactions we have had, that was really neat, for someone of his stature, at least in my world, to remember me was a big deal, then he saw me again in the hall outside the main arena and said hey. It's a silly thing to some but that little bit of interaction made my day. There is something about being recognized by someone you deem as important and realizing that they are accessible.
Thing 2. Jon Acuff...lets see where do we go with this one? I've been reading Stuff Christians like for a while, just finished the book of the same name, and find him both witty and thought provoking at the same time. I've also commando tweeted the guy before but was kinda never really on his radar. Something happened at Orange, I am fairly certain it had to do with my kid sending a picture of herself with one of the National Guardsman stationed outside her school, and that kid being close in age to his own kid but who knows, anyway he started following me on twitter. Now again this is big for me, I was totally geeking out over it, mainly because of the respect I have for him. He's made it in this world that I have been pushing myself into more and more and I like the thought that it's possible for me to make it as well. So when he started to follow me it was a big deal. The fact that he has like 80 Billion followers, and follows a bunch of people as well is beside the point, he started following this pastor of a small church that is looking to birth something new into a community that needs connection and well it just was a huge encouragement to me. Couple that with me calling him out for using an app to automatically favorite tweets with certain words, and being told by him that he doesn't even know what an auto favoriter is (yes I made up that terminology but they do exist), and well yeah you get the picture, I told that story several times and am telling it again here because I found it so cool.
The fact is whenever someone in the Orange world interacts with my via social media I perk up a bit. It's like this connection to a wider world of people, trying to change the conversation revolving around faith, culture, and interaction with the world at large. The ability to bridge the gaps between churches and communities is hard enough with all the negative press Christ Followers receive mainly because of vocal minority who somehow have big medias attention. Doing church differently is something that must be done, and in these two guys at least I see a desire to make that happen on a grander scale. For that I'm thankful.
I still haven't hit the holy grail of Orangdom though... That moment when Reggie Joiner engages on a different level... then of course the only thing left will be Andy Stanley giving me a favorite. Ah well when that happens I am sure that rainbows and unicorns will sing and dance through a field of lucky charms while I eat a bowl of Captain Crunch... yea that makes no sense, but you get the idea. And just so we're clear, I know they are just a couple of guys doing what God has called them too, I know that they have a lot on their plates, that they do all the things I do as a guy. I know that what's special about them isn't who they are but who they serve. I know it, I embrace it, and I'm not trying to be them. The point is God knows when we need a shot in the arm, and in addition to knowing when we need it he knows just the type of shot to give us. So yea while these guys are great, and I admire them, more importantly I admire a God who knows what will make me smile, and cares enough to nudge things in that direction.
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Until I Wasn't
I've been writing some different things lately. This one has been kicking around in my head the last few days so I decided to go ahead ...
