We've all heard it. It's not you it's me...
For some reason saying this is supposed to make the other person feel better. Shoot I've said it before, and I've had it said to me. The problem is it's not true, at best it's a half truth, mainly because the person ending things is making a concrete decision to end the relationship, but as we all know there are always reasons for the ending, and those are more wrapped up in the other person than many of us care to admit.
When I end a relationship with someone I am making a conscious decision based on many factors, all of which have something to do with the other person. The realization that it's a cop out was always at the back of my mind, a way to try and take away the fact that in many cases I was being a jerk and didn't really want to face the fact that the individual wasn't really meeting whatever need I felt they should meet, didn't fit in my long term plan, or more likely had begun to bore me and well yea see the whole I was being a jerk at the beginning of this sentence.
The thing is as a pastor of a small church that is working hard at being intentional about building an authentic community (all great buzz words but still true) seeing people who looked like they were going to stick, who even said they were going to stick leave after a few weeks never to return, it's hard. Worse still is the realization that I have done the same thing in churches. Looking at them and sizing them up and instead of just coming out and saying the reasons that I have moved on, I try and soften the blow. Sure it's nice to be told that you aren't the reason for an exit, especially from the church and at times that is true, but that's not really important.
Pastors are interesting people. We are supposed to have answers to questions that at times are unanswerable. We are supposed to be able to speak words of wisdom and encouragment and yea. You get the idea. If we really believe what the Bible says in Acts about God adding to the church daily such as were being saved, the need for validation that stems from people coming to church wouldn't be so important, but that's just not the case, at least it's not the case for me. The thing is I thought I was bigger than that, I have always thought I was bigger than that but the truth is when you're doing something and have been doing it and you derive your sense of self from it, and it doens't do what you want it to do, or how hou want it to do it, you begin to quesiton so much of yourself, and you come to the realization that you really aren't where you thought you were, or where you should be.
The thing is it is me, it's me that puts way to much pressure on myself to do the work that God has promised he would do, it's me who takes it personally when someone doen'st like me, or when percieve they don't like me, it's me that looks out and sees an almost empty church. All of those things pour out of me in imperceptable ways, at least imperseptable to me.
Now having said all of this we have something really cool happening at the church. It's completly counter intuitive, in fact it should't work. Starting this past Valtentines day we went to two services, most churchs only go to a second service when there are too many people, we went to two services when there were barely enough to sustain one, and in moving to a two service format, we saw an increase in attendance across both services.
Our 9 AM service is decidedly traditional, all hymns, formal readings and calls to worship, I wear a robe to preach, and even though I know all churches have a literugy that they follow (there ya go Father Jim) this service is what I would term more liturgical in nature. Our 11 AM service is contemporary, differnt music, more laid back, no robe, I use a stool, other ways to interact. It's great.
The really cool thing though is that I thoroughly enjoy both services. I feel a connection in both to the people and to the message that I haven't felt in the past two years. So what does all this mean. I don't really know. I know that there are people that have said it's not you it's me when it comes to being a part of the church, and I know that may be true, but kind of dobut it, but thats all okay. One of the things to realize is that we are doing someting very new and differnt for our church, and we are beginning to see God give the increase.
I can't wait to see what happens next, and to have the opportunity to take you on the journy with us.
Promise I'll write more in the coming months.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
He thrusts his fists...
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he see's the ghost.
The first time I read this line was in Stephen Kings It, it's been in Salem's Lot as well as his non fiction Danse Macabre. Do a bit of digging and you find that this is not one of Kings creations but actually belongs somewhere in history, King used it in homage to Donovan's Brain published in 1942, however that isn't even the origin, the oldest known reference is from 1843. The verse is also longer than the one King wrote.
"Amidst the mists and fiercest frosts, With barest wrists, and stoutest boasts, He thrusts his fists against the posts, And still insists he sees the ghosts."
I like the idea that it originated in Donovan's Brain more than the whole 1843 thing, particularly because it fits where my thoughts are heading.
Ghosts are an interesting thing. The idea that people are tethered to a specific place for a specific amount of time on earth after they die, is both sad and frightening. Sad because the person is so fixated on the past that they don't want to let go. Frightening because of the implication of nothing after, of the only place to be is in the current plane of existence.
The thing is as much as I don't believe in ghosts, I still acknowledge their existence, have to actually. Which brings me back the reason I like the idea that the quote that I lifted from Stephen King, that he lifted from Curt Siodmak, that he lifted, well who knows where he lifted it from but it came from a long time ago.
Ghosts in many forms hunt and haunt us on a regular basis, and I maintain they have their origin in our brains. There's the ghost of Christmases, something that is fresh mainly because we just left the Holiday season. These ghosts had me telling J that it just didn't feel like Christmas, they dredge up good feelings while at the same time making us discontent in what we have, remembering the past with such fondness that we miss out on what is happening in the present.
There's the ghosts of decisions made, bringing up every bad choice, every mistake, every bad consequence. Haunting our waking and sleeping with what if's. I wish there were less of these spirits floating around my house, I am sure you do to.
The ghosts of remember when. Similar to the Christmas ghosts but dealing with every day life both personally and professionally. Everyone deals with these ghosts. Employers do and make decisions based accordingly, many times in a desire to shake things up, they are really looking to quiet the ghosts of remember when...remember when the whole team was chosen by you...remember when everyone had so much fun at that conference or meeting, remember when...you get the idea. Churches do it constantly, remember when we had all those people, remember when we had that great VBS, remember when the church was bustling with activity...Couples do it, remember when it was just the two of us and we could do whatever we want...remember when she was little, remember when we first met, remember that first kiss...the first time we held hands...The ghosts of remember when are probably the most prolific ghosts and the ones that tend to cause the most damage.
As a leader dealing with ghosts can be a daunting task. They usually manifest as anger, resentment, or gossip. Anger at the change you're trying to lead, resentment that people don't see how important you are or have been, gossip about everyone that doesn't agree with you. A good leader can recognize the ghosts and see past them to the people who are hurting and that need to be loved, encouraged and communicated with in firmness and love. Personally I think I'm good at the love part, the firmness part is a bit harder for me, mainly because being firm can and many times seems to make a positive constructive relationship difficult if not impossible, and even though reality would be that once the person understood that they were being loved in the firmness and listened to and eventually come to the realizations that it's not personal, the time it takes to get there is exhausting and difficult and causes sleeplessness.
Isaiah 43:18–19 (HCSB) — 18 “Do not remember the past events, pay no attention to things of old. 19 Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.
The problem with ghosts is that when we see them and let them do what ghosts do we stop moving forward. Our brain manufactures them and we react and in reacting forget what matters. We forget that all those things that want to hold us back and keep us from doing what we know is right is so against what God wants for us. Reading that verse up there, it's easy to think that I'm an advocate for the destruction of all things traditional, that I think new is all that matters, that couldn't be further from the truth. Revelation 3 talks about a church that looked great and had this great reputation, only to be told that's not the case. I think this applies to so much of our personal lives.
Revelation 3:2 (HCSB) — 2 Be alert and strengthen what remains, which is about to die, for I have not found your works complete before My God.
The things we remember the memories and traditions and actions from before aren't a problem. When it comes to relationship and faith and life those things can be a great foundation, allowing us to build the things that are needed to have a living breathing relationship with God, that makes a difference in the world. To help strengthen the bonds between family and friends, that inform major life decisions. It's only when we allow those things to be the sole reason for our decision making, when we turn them into ghosts that haunt us instead of experiences that guide us that we have a problem.
I have been watching my daughters grow, they get taller, they get more beautiful they get smarter every moment of the day. I remember all the things that have happened in each of their lives. I know all the mistakes I have made, the things that I should have done better, the person I should have been or could have been. I have to make a choice to not let the ghosts manufactured by my brain keep me from being a living active dad in their life. This fact informs my being a dad, as well as every other area of my life...at least it should. Still there are times that "I thrust my fists against the posts, and still insist I see the ghosts."
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
How Soon We Forget...
239 years old...seems like a long time doesn't it. I mean the oldest person in the world as of July of 2015 was 116 years old. So yea 239 years is pretty old...but a quick look around finds that it's actually not as old as say something that had its start in 660 BCE Japan, or 221 BCE China. If we were to look at ages then we would look at other's France is about 843, Austria sits at 976, Denmark started in the 10th century, Hungary is 1001, Portugal 1143, Mongolia 1206 Thailand 1238, Andorra 1287, Switzerland 1281, and Monaco 1419.
If you are a Christ follower and you believe the Bible you come to the realization that middle eastern countries have been around for a really really long time as well. So again 239 not all that old in the grand scheme of things.
The thing that so fascinates me is the fact that in spite of the young age of our country, Americans as a whole tend to conveniently forget that before the founding of Jamestown in 1607, there were people who lived here. I realize that if you add the 169 years between what is looked at as the founding of "our" people living in North America to 408 but still looking at all the countries I mentioned well it's not really all that big a stretch to be amazed at the shortness of our memories.
My point is simple, unless you are Shawnee, Apache, Aroostook, Dakota...the list goes on you are not really from here. The truth is you don't even have to go back nearly as far as 408 or 239 years to find that most of the people who are American citizens, even those born here haven't been around that long. My great grandmother and grandfather came from Italy, I grew up knowing her, she babysat me, met my wife the whole nine. Without an Antoinette there would be no Aaron. If the vast majority of us did a bit of digging we would find that we came from someplace else. The reasons very, Back in the 1600's people wanted the freedom to worship and so found a place they could go to do so in 1789 the following was written by Fischer Ames :
We all recognize it and for many Christians we like the part that says congress won't make a law that prohibits the free exercise of religion, but are less inclined to admit that the country was NOT nor ever would be defined as a Christian Nation. That's what making no law respecting and establishment of religion means...We may be a nation that was founded by men who were Christians, and even that could be considered a stretch in some respects, but that is different than being a Christian Nation. There is no national religion....anyway enough of that soap box.
I'm guessing that some of you have already figured out where I'm going but in case you haven't indulge me in a bit more history, that indirectly links to that verse in Leviticus, the beginning of our nation, and where we stand today and how angry I am at a vast majority of people claiming Christianity, and "americans" small a on purpose, in general.
If it weren't for Samoset and Squanto welcoming the Pilgrims and teaching them how to grow crops, there would have been no colony to kick this whole thing we call the USA off, and while I realize that at best I've just given a 1 graders Thanksgiving Report, there is something important to realize there. These Native Americans were living out Leviticus 19:34, the tragedy is what those settlers, our ancestors did to the people who lived here in the first place, the real Americans as it were. We should be taking a page from the Samoset book, or better yet, oh I don't know THE BIBLE...not Mein Kampf
Now to the part that makes me angry when I read stories about idiotic white Americans running for president wanting to deport Muslims or keep them from immigrating, or seeking asylum I get angry. When I read about some dumb white person in a suit in Chicago spitting on a young woman because she "looks like" she's from the middle east, I seriously question what is wrong with my race, when I hear or see another story about a police officer beating someone because they have a badge and can seemingly do whatever they want, I feel I need to apologize to every person of color for bigotry and every person of a different faith than mine for the call to re-institute the Crusades. If Republican...no no wait...if extremely right wing religious Republican...no that's not enough either. If Extremely Religious Right Wing Republican Tea Party, NRA members want to claim Christianity as their religion then they need to start acting like Christ, and if they aren't going to act like Christ and they are going to end up being the face and voice of Christianity in the media and pop culture, then I'm out. I will officially declare myself a Christ Follower, or as Paul said in Acts a follower of "The Way"
The point is this. God doesn't change, in Leviticus he told the children of Israel to treat people that were different than they were as though they were part of the family..(sure that's an Aaron paraphrase but I think fairly accurate.) In the New Testament Jesus tells us to Love God and Love People, he doesn't put any qualifiers as to the type of people or kind of people or whatever just love God love people. That's what a christian is supposed to do...not encourage all his students to own a gun...not keep people out of the country or deport people because they are different.
I have said before that there are times I'm ashamed to be white....
I will say this. I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ which is the power of God unto Salvation...I am not ashamed to be named with Christ, to be accused of being open and welcoming, full of love and grace and mercy to all... I believe with everything that is in me that if we live and move and have our being in Jesus, and model Jesus to others, God will deal with people, he will show them where they need to change, he will begin the process of rooting out the sins that so easily beset them...not me, not my church, not your church...
But I say with great sadness that there are times I am ashamed to be an american christian...because so many american christians have forgotten who Christ is, and that we are to be more like him and less like ourselves.
If you are a Christ follower and you believe the Bible you come to the realization that middle eastern countries have been around for a really really long time as well. So again 239 not all that old in the grand scheme of things.
The thing that so fascinates me is the fact that in spite of the young age of our country, Americans as a whole tend to conveniently forget that before the founding of Jamestown in 1607, there were people who lived here. I realize that if you add the 169 years between what is looked at as the founding of "our" people living in North America to 408 but still looking at all the countries I mentioned well it's not really all that big a stretch to be amazed at the shortness of our memories.
My point is simple, unless you are Shawnee, Apache, Aroostook, Dakota...the list goes on you are not really from here. The truth is you don't even have to go back nearly as far as 408 or 239 years to find that most of the people who are American citizens, even those born here haven't been around that long. My great grandmother and grandfather came from Italy, I grew up knowing her, she babysat me, met my wife the whole nine. Without an Antoinette there would be no Aaron. If the vast majority of us did a bit of digging we would find that we came from someplace else. The reasons very, Back in the 1600's people wanted the freedom to worship and so found a place they could go to do so in 1789 the following was written by Fischer Ames :
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
We all recognize it and for many Christians we like the part that says congress won't make a law that prohibits the free exercise of religion, but are less inclined to admit that the country was NOT nor ever would be defined as a Christian Nation. That's what making no law respecting and establishment of religion means...We may be a nation that was founded by men who were Christians, and even that could be considered a stretch in some respects, but that is different than being a Christian Nation. There is no national religion....anyway enough of that soap box.
Leviticus 19:34 (HCSB)
34 You must regard the foreigner who lives with you as the native-born among you. You are to love him as yourself, for you were foreigners in the land of Egypt; I am Yahweh your God.
I'm guessing that some of you have already figured out where I'm going but in case you haven't indulge me in a bit more history, that indirectly links to that verse in Leviticus, the beginning of our nation, and where we stand today and how angry I am at a vast majority of people claiming Christianity, and "americans" small a on purpose, in general.
If it weren't for Samoset and Squanto welcoming the Pilgrims and teaching them how to grow crops, there would have been no colony to kick this whole thing we call the USA off, and while I realize that at best I've just given a 1 graders Thanksgiving Report, there is something important to realize there. These Native Americans were living out Leviticus 19:34, the tragedy is what those settlers, our ancestors did to the people who lived here in the first place, the real Americans as it were. We should be taking a page from the Samoset book, or better yet, oh I don't know THE BIBLE...not Mein Kampf
Now to the part that makes me angry when I read stories about idiotic white Americans running for president wanting to deport Muslims or keep them from immigrating, or seeking asylum I get angry. When I read about some dumb white person in a suit in Chicago spitting on a young woman because she "looks like" she's from the middle east, I seriously question what is wrong with my race, when I hear or see another story about a police officer beating someone because they have a badge and can seemingly do whatever they want, I feel I need to apologize to every person of color for bigotry and every person of a different faith than mine for the call to re-institute the Crusades. If Republican...no no wait...if extremely right wing religious Republican...no that's not enough either. If Extremely Religious Right Wing Republican Tea Party, NRA members want to claim Christianity as their religion then they need to start acting like Christ, and if they aren't going to act like Christ and they are going to end up being the face and voice of Christianity in the media and pop culture, then I'm out. I will officially declare myself a Christ Follower, or as Paul said in Acts a follower of "The Way"
Acts 24:14 (HCSB)
14 But I confess this to you: I worship my fathers’ God according to the Way, which they call a sect, believing all the things that are written in the Law and in the Prophets.
The point is this. God doesn't change, in Leviticus he told the children of Israel to treat people that were different than they were as though they were part of the family..(sure that's an Aaron paraphrase but I think fairly accurate.) In the New Testament Jesus tells us to Love God and Love People, he doesn't put any qualifiers as to the type of people or kind of people or whatever just love God love people. That's what a christian is supposed to do...not encourage all his students to own a gun...not keep people out of the country or deport people because they are different.
I have said before that there are times I'm ashamed to be white....
I will say this. I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ which is the power of God unto Salvation...I am not ashamed to be named with Christ, to be accused of being open and welcoming, full of love and grace and mercy to all... I believe with everything that is in me that if we live and move and have our being in Jesus, and model Jesus to others, God will deal with people, he will show them where they need to change, he will begin the process of rooting out the sins that so easily beset them...not me, not my church, not your church...
But I say with great sadness that there are times I am ashamed to be an american christian...because so many american christians have forgotten who Christ is, and that we are to be more like him and less like ourselves.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Long Division...
Thou shalt become like me or thou must not really be a Christian...Thou shalt believe and interpret scripture the exact same way that I do or you are living in sin...Thou shalt follow the precepts and teachings of the religious right or religious left to prove you are a true believer...Thou shalt speak ill of all those who do not measure up to the old testament standard of holiness...thou shalt look down your nose and speak in condencending terms to those that refuse to take into account, context, original language, and intent of the author, and favor a literal interpretation of scripture...
Over the past months and unfortunately years I have seen what I can only describe as the systematic dismantling of Christianity from the inside... The symptoms are all around us, easily seen by those that so desperately need to hear the message of Christ, and each one of them makes our job all the more difficult. Christians will stand for gun rights, demand we close our boarders, advocate for registering of refugees, and of all things following Donald Trump as if he were anointed by God to and canonized by Rome...
I have read and heard and seen people claim that God's love and grace are conditional. I have watched people claim that sin is a relative term and we don't say that word because it can alienate whole groups of people who don't believe in the concept of sin or who don't think that it really matters.
In short Christians are great at tearing each other down, and in the process showing a world that is in desperate need of hope, hope that comes from Christ, that we are hopeless.
The more I read the Bible, the more I am convinced that we have it all wrong...that we are so bent on being right about the minute details of what makes God happy, at what gives us a shot at hearing "well done" we don't get to doing. I am never going to agree with everything another follower of Christ or Pastor says, how they interpret scripture, and what they deem are the keys to fellowship with God. Peter addresses these very things though.
It's like he knew, knew that there were going to be things that Christians did not see eye to eye on. There were going to be all kinds of reasons to not interact, to not fellowship, to point fingers and call names. John addresses the issue when he talks about not all sin leading to death... I wondered about this, because in the same sentence he says all unrighteousness is sin, but not all sin leads to death. Specifically John seems to be talking about when I notice sin in other people...my response to what I deem a sin...
I wonder sometimes if both Peter and John are giving us a clue on how we are to interact with each other...if they are trying to tell us in very plain terms that our judgment of sin isn't what matters, especially when we are dealing with each other, especially when we are dealing with people who claim to be followers of Christ and the evidence of their life, they way they live and move and have their being, clearly shows that they are following God, that they are Loving Him and Loving people. What if what they both are talking about is the way human beings, the way you and I, decide what is sin and what isn't even when we can see that the persons life is lived in a way that brings glory to God, that they evidence the character of Christ, but because we dislike something that they do, or it doesn't fit our interpretation of the Bible that must mean that they are in deep sin and can't be really "saved?" What if we spent more time loving the people around us, the people who are supposed to be pulling in the same direction that are supposed to be salt and light, what if we began to realize that we don't have it all right, that we don't have it all wrong, and that the most important thing for us to do is work to bring the good news the Gospel of Christ to the world.
Imagine what would happen if we saw each other as allies, if we realized that the thing that binds us together a faith grounded in the Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ is stronger than my personal opinion or agenda? What if we prayed for people instead of preying on them in the world of the church.
So many what if's, so many opportunities missed because the church is busy fighting amongst themselves.
Love God, Love People. Simple, to the Point...Love... When we respond in Love we will see the person before we see the problem... and we may find the problem isn't as big as we make it out to be...
The church world has been divided for a long time...the longer we remain that way the harder it will be to show the world that the need a relationship with the God we serve...
Over the past months and unfortunately years I have seen what I can only describe as the systematic dismantling of Christianity from the inside... The symptoms are all around us, easily seen by those that so desperately need to hear the message of Christ, and each one of them makes our job all the more difficult. Christians will stand for gun rights, demand we close our boarders, advocate for registering of refugees, and of all things following Donald Trump as if he were anointed by God to and canonized by Rome...
I have read and heard and seen people claim that God's love and grace are conditional. I have watched people claim that sin is a relative term and we don't say that word because it can alienate whole groups of people who don't believe in the concept of sin or who don't think that it really matters.
In short Christians are great at tearing each other down, and in the process showing a world that is in desperate need of hope, hope that comes from Christ, that we are hopeless.
The more I read the Bible, the more I am convinced that we have it all wrong...that we are so bent on being right about the minute details of what makes God happy, at what gives us a shot at hearing "well done" we don't get to doing. I am never going to agree with everything another follower of Christ or Pastor says, how they interpret scripture, and what they deem are the keys to fellowship with God. Peter addresses these very things though.
1 Peter 4:8 (HCSB)
8 Above all, maintain an intense love for each other, since love covers a multitude of sins.
It's like he knew, knew that there were going to be things that Christians did not see eye to eye on. There were going to be all kinds of reasons to not interact, to not fellowship, to point fingers and call names. John addresses the issue when he talks about not all sin leading to death... I wondered about this, because in the same sentence he says all unrighteousness is sin, but not all sin leads to death. Specifically John seems to be talking about when I notice sin in other people...my response to what I deem a sin...
1 John 5:16-17 (HCSB)
16 If anyone sees his brother committing a sin that does not bring death, he should ask, and God will give life to him—to those who commit sin that doesn’t bring death. There is sin that brings death. I am not saying he should pray about that.
17 All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin that does not bring death.
I wonder sometimes if both Peter and John are giving us a clue on how we are to interact with each other...if they are trying to tell us in very plain terms that our judgment of sin isn't what matters, especially when we are dealing with each other, especially when we are dealing with people who claim to be followers of Christ and the evidence of their life, they way they live and move and have their being, clearly shows that they are following God, that they are Loving Him and Loving people. What if what they both are talking about is the way human beings, the way you and I, decide what is sin and what isn't even when we can see that the persons life is lived in a way that brings glory to God, that they evidence the character of Christ, but because we dislike something that they do, or it doesn't fit our interpretation of the Bible that must mean that they are in deep sin and can't be really "saved?" What if we spent more time loving the people around us, the people who are supposed to be pulling in the same direction that are supposed to be salt and light, what if we began to realize that we don't have it all right, that we don't have it all wrong, and that the most important thing for us to do is work to bring the good news the Gospel of Christ to the world.
Imagine what would happen if we saw each other as allies, if we realized that the thing that binds us together a faith grounded in the Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ is stronger than my personal opinion or agenda? What if we prayed for people instead of preying on them in the world of the church.
So many what if's, so many opportunities missed because the church is busy fighting amongst themselves.
Love God, Love People. Simple, to the Point...Love... When we respond in Love we will see the person before we see the problem... and we may find the problem isn't as big as we make it out to be...
The church world has been divided for a long time...the longer we remain that way the harder it will be to show the world that the need a relationship with the God we serve...
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
The Clock Kid and other frustrations...
I'm in the process of reading and summarizing a report about what happened in Baltimore last April for the association and conference that our church happens to be a part of. I have watched and became frustrated with the way so many people who claim Christ desire to fist bump Donald Trump as the coming Messiah of the good old U.S. of A, especially with his obvious bigotry and prejudice on display on a regular basis and his ability to spot internet rumor and conspiracy as fact...because we all know what we see on TV and read on the internet is always true... right? I've taken whats her name that wouldn't just do her job and the christians who found it more conducive to wave crosses and play Eye of the TIger and call her a Modern Day martyr for the cause to task for being annoying and cannonizing her as a protestant saint. I realized the pure frustration that a family must have felt when their son was taken into custody for a "bomb" that was obviously not a bomb and that no one really thought was a bomb, given they way they kept everyone in the school etc.
As a pastor it's part of my vocation to speak out about things that the church is doing that hurts the cause of Christ...which in case we were all forgetting is pretty much summed up in our telling people with our words and our actions that God so loved them that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Love God, Love People that's what we need to be doing.
All of these things I have done. Interspersed throughout those posts and my work as a pastor in Baltimore I have shared some of the hard dark sad parts of what I do, as well as some funny moments that will inevitably happen being a father of three girls.
It's a safe bet that I sit at odds with a lot of people that I know and love in many respects and I'm okay with that.
I write about good things and crappy things, things that encourage me and things that bother me, and so today I'm going to write about something that really bothered me...
When I looked at my news feed I found that Ahmed Mohamed's parents are seeking 15 Million in damages in a law suite against the City and the School system, as well as a public apology.
Don't get me wrong, there should be consequences to the idiotic behavior that officials both in the City of Irving and on the School Board evidenced. There should be a public apology, as well as some form of punitive penalty to help all of them think before they act in such an obviously bigoted way...but...15 Million. Think for a moment about who that amount of money is going to directly effect. Students and families that rely on some of the programs that the city has to offer. It's not going to affect the people who perpetrated the bigotry and discrimination, it's going to be taken from people who had no say in what happened.
What happened to Ahmed was wrong... and now when the city and school system pays out this 15 million what will happen to other students just like Ahmed will be wrong.
Ahmed has had some awesome things happen in the wake of the obvious bigotry that he was subject to. He has met presidents, the CEO of Google and been named one of Times 2015 most influential teens. He has been given a full ride scholarship to one of the best schools of Qatar, and while I think it's deplorable that in order to get the education he deserves and to be treated with the respect and dignity he deserves he has gone there, I think it's awesome that those things have happened. The tragedy was turned to triumph in many ways because people were willing to step up and do the right thing, to not allow a few people to be the voice of the majority.
So why then are we punishing not the idiots that started the whole mess but the students and families that had nothing to do with it. I wish it were different but it looks suspiciously like an easy pay day to me and nothing more. There is it seems no impetus demanding change, or training to understand what was done wrong, there is no desire for disciplinary action evidenced in the demand for 15 million there is simply a desire for 15 million and oh yeah a public apology...
And this is my problem... the childish, greed and need to be right, that so many evidence. Be it the Gay couple that decided that they would stick it to Memories Pizza, Ahmed's parents who want their payday, or a group of Christians who claim an elected official can opt out of doing her job because she doesn't like it, they all seem to miss the point and in my estimation set back the causes for which they fight when they resort to behavior that I would attribute to a spoiled child and not a rational adult.
When we punish the masses for the sins of the few, we create something frightening, a culture that will be less likely to speak up, use their rights of free speech, or want to put themselves on the line for what is right and what should be. It's a different type of oppression, and places all the power not in the hands of the oppressed, not in the hands of the people, but in the hands of a select few who use money, and litigation to exploit rather than bring about constructive change.
Anyway I don't know. I just was sad to see someone cashing in at what will be the expense of people who had nothing to do with the problem in the first place...
As a pastor it's part of my vocation to speak out about things that the church is doing that hurts the cause of Christ...which in case we were all forgetting is pretty much summed up in our telling people with our words and our actions that God so loved them that he gave his one and only son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. Love God, Love People that's what we need to be doing.
All of these things I have done. Interspersed throughout those posts and my work as a pastor in Baltimore I have shared some of the hard dark sad parts of what I do, as well as some funny moments that will inevitably happen being a father of three girls.
It's a safe bet that I sit at odds with a lot of people that I know and love in many respects and I'm okay with that.
I write about good things and crappy things, things that encourage me and things that bother me, and so today I'm going to write about something that really bothered me...
When I looked at my news feed I found that Ahmed Mohamed's parents are seeking 15 Million in damages in a law suite against the City and the School system, as well as a public apology.
Don't get me wrong, there should be consequences to the idiotic behavior that officials both in the City of Irving and on the School Board evidenced. There should be a public apology, as well as some form of punitive penalty to help all of them think before they act in such an obviously bigoted way...but...15 Million. Think for a moment about who that amount of money is going to directly effect. Students and families that rely on some of the programs that the city has to offer. It's not going to affect the people who perpetrated the bigotry and discrimination, it's going to be taken from people who had no say in what happened.
What happened to Ahmed was wrong... and now when the city and school system pays out this 15 million what will happen to other students just like Ahmed will be wrong.
Ahmed has had some awesome things happen in the wake of the obvious bigotry that he was subject to. He has met presidents, the CEO of Google and been named one of Times 2015 most influential teens. He has been given a full ride scholarship to one of the best schools of Qatar, and while I think it's deplorable that in order to get the education he deserves and to be treated with the respect and dignity he deserves he has gone there, I think it's awesome that those things have happened. The tragedy was turned to triumph in many ways because people were willing to step up and do the right thing, to not allow a few people to be the voice of the majority.
So why then are we punishing not the idiots that started the whole mess but the students and families that had nothing to do with it. I wish it were different but it looks suspiciously like an easy pay day to me and nothing more. There is it seems no impetus demanding change, or training to understand what was done wrong, there is no desire for disciplinary action evidenced in the demand for 15 million there is simply a desire for 15 million and oh yeah a public apology...
And this is my problem... the childish, greed and need to be right, that so many evidence. Be it the Gay couple that decided that they would stick it to Memories Pizza, Ahmed's parents who want their payday, or a group of Christians who claim an elected official can opt out of doing her job because she doesn't like it, they all seem to miss the point and in my estimation set back the causes for which they fight when they resort to behavior that I would attribute to a spoiled child and not a rational adult.
When we punish the masses for the sins of the few, we create something frightening, a culture that will be less likely to speak up, use their rights of free speech, or want to put themselves on the line for what is right and what should be. It's a different type of oppression, and places all the power not in the hands of the oppressed, not in the hands of the people, but in the hands of a select few who use money, and litigation to exploit rather than bring about constructive change.
Anyway I don't know. I just was sad to see someone cashing in at what will be the expense of people who had nothing to do with the problem in the first place...
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
What we won’t tell you…
There are things that pastors won’t tell you. Things that you don’t want to hear, things that make us more human than you want us to be. There are other blogs that have said things like this before, written by people far more important and far more famous in the churchesphere than I. The things they say are true, but many of them leave out some of the things that we won’t tell you because well yea they just do.
I also realize that I am now telling you dear reader, the things that pastors won’t tell you, meaning you now will know some of the things that we don’t tell you or are afraid to tell you.
I want to be clear about something when it comes to these things we won’t tell you, this is ammunition, plain and simple. This blog all about me getting out the things that are in my mind and heart, pretty much unfiltered, and whenever this happens, whenever someone goes unfiltered they open themselves up. It’s a safe bit that some of these things may be things your pastor won’t tell you. Again I get it ammunition, what you choose to do with what I write and what you read is on you.
Anyway. We won’t tell you…
1. Pastoring is not just a full time job, or vocation. We are constantly in pastor mode, even when we are supposed to not be in pastor mode we are. 40 hours is a joke when you’re a pastor. You are always on call, even when you’re not supposed to be. Sure we will block out time, we will attempt to disconnect for a while, we will even make lip service to taking a break and knowing we need to, but it’s just that, lip service. We are constantly thinking about praying for, and agonizing over the church we serve. Email, phone calls, texts, vision casting, service design, building issues, member growth both spiritually and physically, all of it is always there, it never goes away. You can’t leave it at the office, you can’t just unplug from it. You can set up some walls, and try and cut out space for a life beyond the church but it never really works. When we aren’t pastoring, we’re miserable, and when we are pastoring we are miserable for a whole different set of reasons.
2. Our family suffers. Every time you pick at someone in our family, hold them to a higher standard or say something about them or to them about how disappointed you are or about how the other pastors significant other or kids would never have done or said or been fill in the blank it hurts. Every time we have to say no to some family something because of a church something it builds walls between us and the people we are supposed to put first. What makes I t worse is the massive amount of guilt associated with the suffering our family endures. The worst part is we become accustomed to feelings of guilt, because when we do take time with or for our family, we feel guilty about not being there for the church we have been called by God to serve.
3. We want you to like us. Not our preaching, not the way we dress, not if we can sing or not, and not the things that we do for the church. We want you to like us, and we can tell when you don’t, and when we get that vibe one of two things will happen, we will try extra hard to get you to like us, or we will come up with ways to avoid one on one conversation with you.
4. We look at the service as art. Putting it together, making sure it flows, spending time praying over each element, trying to get the timing down, all of it is art, all of it takes time. Sometimes the work is fridge worthy, sometimes it’s gallery worthy, and sometimes it’s rubbish that needs to be scrapped. The problem is we don’t always know which it will be until we are in the middle of it, so not only do you get to see the gallery and fridge stuff, you also see the crappy pieces that we wish no one could see.
5. Sermons are not just a weekly speech. There is more to preparing a quality sermon than reading a few verses. We know when they tank, in fact we know that they are going to tank when we open our mouth at the beginning of the message, and we feel horrible about that.
6. Sometimes you bother us especially when you hurt the people we love. We won’t tell you this, in fact we will feel really bad for not liking you at any given point, we will agonize over it, pray about it, and figure there is something wrong with us.
7. We worry about your spiritual life, sometimes to the detriment of our own.
8. We want the church to grow more than you do. Every Sunday that attendance shrinks is another punch to the gut telling us that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t really called, and that we should just get out of this whole pastor thing. The problem is it’s not so easy to just turn off the calling that God has on our life and so we keep working and working and working.
9. Every time you bring up what the other guy did as the way it should be you are telling us that we will never really be your pastor, and that hurts.
10. We are pretty broken people that aren’t allowed to appear broken. We feel like we have to always be on, and when we aren’t on to everyone’s expectations we feel it, know it, and try working harder and longer, all of which is a detriment to our family, but we don’t know how to or are unwilling to stop juggling all the balls that is the church we are called to serve.
11. Titles, committees, and fundraisers are not nearly as important as everyone thinks they are. We do know what we are saying, we want you to know Jesus, we want you to be a part of the church because you Love Jesus more than anything. When you are doing it for any other reason we know this and it hurts because we are obviously not communicating the importance of a personal relationship with God that informs the rest of your life, in a way that helps you see how important it is and makes you want it.
12. We are scared and scarred. Scared to say the things that will hurt your feelings but ultimately help you in your life, and scarred from the times we did so and found out that you could really care less and have decided that we have no real say in your life. Again letting us know we are not your pastor.
There you go 12 things that we won’t tell you.
Now for one thing that is true beyond a shadow of a doubt, at least for me it is. We LOVE you. We LOVE you so much because it’s part of who we are and what we are made to be and what we want to do.
I also realize that I am now telling you dear reader, the things that pastors won’t tell you, meaning you now will know some of the things that we don’t tell you or are afraid to tell you.
I want to be clear about something when it comes to these things we won’t tell you, this is ammunition, plain and simple. This blog all about me getting out the things that are in my mind and heart, pretty much unfiltered, and whenever this happens, whenever someone goes unfiltered they open themselves up. It’s a safe bit that some of these things may be things your pastor won’t tell you. Again I get it ammunition, what you choose to do with what I write and what you read is on you.
Anyway. We won’t tell you…
1. Pastoring is not just a full time job, or vocation. We are constantly in pastor mode, even when we are supposed to not be in pastor mode we are. 40 hours is a joke when you’re a pastor. You are always on call, even when you’re not supposed to be. Sure we will block out time, we will attempt to disconnect for a while, we will even make lip service to taking a break and knowing we need to, but it’s just that, lip service. We are constantly thinking about praying for, and agonizing over the church we serve. Email, phone calls, texts, vision casting, service design, building issues, member growth both spiritually and physically, all of it is always there, it never goes away. You can’t leave it at the office, you can’t just unplug from it. You can set up some walls, and try and cut out space for a life beyond the church but it never really works. When we aren’t pastoring, we’re miserable, and when we are pastoring we are miserable for a whole different set of reasons.
2. Our family suffers. Every time you pick at someone in our family, hold them to a higher standard or say something about them or to them about how disappointed you are or about how the other pastors significant other or kids would never have done or said or been fill in the blank it hurts. Every time we have to say no to some family something because of a church something it builds walls between us and the people we are supposed to put first. What makes I t worse is the massive amount of guilt associated with the suffering our family endures. The worst part is we become accustomed to feelings of guilt, because when we do take time with or for our family, we feel guilty about not being there for the church we have been called by God to serve.
3. We want you to like us. Not our preaching, not the way we dress, not if we can sing or not, and not the things that we do for the church. We want you to like us, and we can tell when you don’t, and when we get that vibe one of two things will happen, we will try extra hard to get you to like us, or we will come up with ways to avoid one on one conversation with you.
4. We look at the service as art. Putting it together, making sure it flows, spending time praying over each element, trying to get the timing down, all of it is art, all of it takes time. Sometimes the work is fridge worthy, sometimes it’s gallery worthy, and sometimes it’s rubbish that needs to be scrapped. The problem is we don’t always know which it will be until we are in the middle of it, so not only do you get to see the gallery and fridge stuff, you also see the crappy pieces that we wish no one could see.
5. Sermons are not just a weekly speech. There is more to preparing a quality sermon than reading a few verses. We know when they tank, in fact we know that they are going to tank when we open our mouth at the beginning of the message, and we feel horrible about that.
6. Sometimes you bother us especially when you hurt the people we love. We won’t tell you this, in fact we will feel really bad for not liking you at any given point, we will agonize over it, pray about it, and figure there is something wrong with us.
7. We worry about your spiritual life, sometimes to the detriment of our own.
8. We want the church to grow more than you do. Every Sunday that attendance shrinks is another punch to the gut telling us that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t really called, and that we should just get out of this whole pastor thing. The problem is it’s not so easy to just turn off the calling that God has on our life and so we keep working and working and working.
9. Every time you bring up what the other guy did as the way it should be you are telling us that we will never really be your pastor, and that hurts.
10. We are pretty broken people that aren’t allowed to appear broken. We feel like we have to always be on, and when we aren’t on to everyone’s expectations we feel it, know it, and try working harder and longer, all of which is a detriment to our family, but we don’t know how to or are unwilling to stop juggling all the balls that is the church we are called to serve.
11. Titles, committees, and fundraisers are not nearly as important as everyone thinks they are. We do know what we are saying, we want you to know Jesus, we want you to be a part of the church because you Love Jesus more than anything. When you are doing it for any other reason we know this and it hurts because we are obviously not communicating the importance of a personal relationship with God that informs the rest of your life, in a way that helps you see how important it is and makes you want it.
12. We are scared and scarred. Scared to say the things that will hurt your feelings but ultimately help you in your life, and scarred from the times we did so and found out that you could really care less and have decided that we have no real say in your life. Again letting us know we are not your pastor.
There you go 12 things that we won’t tell you.
Now for one thing that is true beyond a shadow of a doubt, at least for me it is. We LOVE you. We LOVE you so much because it’s part of who we are and what we are made to be and what we want to do.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Pay Attention
Have you ever read something that speaks directly to where you are at the moment and you want to ignore it because you actually enjoy how you are feeling, sometimes it's fun to nurse anger, or bitterness, or frustration or euphoria or well you get the idea. When we nurse those things along in our lives it's easy to slip into all sorts of behaviors that can be detrimental to our ability to function in our daily interactions with others, and to have a healthy faith life.
I can't stand platitudes, easy answers or refusal to look at more than one side of the issue. It's so easy to find the people who you are most comfortable with, that like you and affirm you and listen to you and so immerse yourself in the subculture of comfort that we build to help ourselves make it through life. What I'm finding is that in those moments where I am most conflicted, or that the things that I am thinking and praying about are not coming into focus the way they should, or the way I think they should it's usually because I am bringing my notions of what is important, or fair, or relevant into the mix in an unhealthy way. Which brings me to what I read today and in a larger part what I have been reading lately and how it always seems to speak to the areas where my self-righteousness, and self-justification, grow the largest.
Hebrews 2:1 is another in an increasingly long line of verses that have been hitting me pretty hard lately. Not in a bad way in a wow okay I need to step back for a moment.
When I think of all the things that I have heard, all the preaching, all the teaching, all the songs, all the conferences, all of it I realize that there has been a lot that has gone into what makes me into the Christ follower I am today but like everyone else I am subject to the winds of the world, like everyone I tend to gravitate toward people who will tell me what I like to hear, that will agree with me more than call me out on the possibility that I have it wrong, the my interpretation is off that I am missing some key parts of what God is saying through a particular passage, life experience or individual.
When Paul tells us to pay even more attention to what we have heard so we don't drift away, it's easy to look at what we were, at what we grew up learning or hearing and trying to get back to it. It's easy to look at things and think that everything we were taught, all the things we understood were right after all. That our earlier interpretation of scripture, or circumstance is actually the right way of reading things, that life and growth, and change in venue really are the enemies to a deeper more relevant, personal faith life. But what if it's more than that. What if when we look at what we heard, what we grew up believing was Gospel truth, was wrong? What if some of the things that I took for granted, really shouldn't be a part of the foundation of my life, and what if some of the new things that I have started to look at and wonder about are equally misguided. If anything Hebrews 2 tells me that it's easy to drift away when we decide that one camp is all right and one camp is all wrong. There is a place for commonality, but more importantly no matter where we stand on some issues and thoughts and fights. There is a real foundation to our faith that is embodied in the following...“
Reading the verses around that verse we find that our faith is supposed to be rooted in Jesus, sometimes I get so caught up in the things that come across my Facebook feed, or a tweet from someone who I agree with, or disagree with, I get dug so deep into Orange or Patheos, or Outlaw preachers that I lose sight of the real foundation for my faith, Jesus.
My frustration with what I used to hold dear, or with what I now hold as important many times manifests in sarcasm, frustration and a predisposition to become judgmental. What I have to remember is what I have heard so I don't drift away from what really matters, from the thing that should bind all people who profess to be Christ followers, the work of God evidenced in my life through the acceptance of Jesus death, resurrection and cross. That last part can be the tricky part because if I read it right when I take up the cross, I'm placing myself in the lowest possible position. The cross invites pain, ridicule, scorn and embarrassment. The cross exposes not just my soft bits but the bits that I thought were strong, that I thought were solid and well worked. The cross not only demands but compels me to death, not once but if the Gospel of Luke is to be believed on a daily basis.
That's the thing about remembering what we have heard. We are supposed to remember it all, and when we remember those kinds of verse, at least when I do, I want to move on to something more comfortable, self-serving and easy.
I keep wondering what would happen if every day I would look at all the people who I know and love and even the ones I know and don't love and realize that if they claim Christianity we have the same foundation, and if I really am going to be the Christ follower I claim to be or want to be, I need to wake up pick up the cross, climb the hill lay down and allow the nails to be driven in or the ropes to be tied, and death to come, over and over and over again. With the hope that each time I do there is more of Jesus and less of Aaron.
I can't stand platitudes, easy answers or refusal to look at more than one side of the issue. It's so easy to find the people who you are most comfortable with, that like you and affirm you and listen to you and so immerse yourself in the subculture of comfort that we build to help ourselves make it through life. What I'm finding is that in those moments where I am most conflicted, or that the things that I am thinking and praying about are not coming into focus the way they should, or the way I think they should it's usually because I am bringing my notions of what is important, or fair, or relevant into the mix in an unhealthy way. Which brings me to what I read today and in a larger part what I have been reading lately and how it always seems to speak to the areas where my self-righteousness, and self-justification, grow the largest.
Hebrews 2:1 is another in an increasingly long line of verses that have been hitting me pretty hard lately. Not in a bad way in a wow okay I need to step back for a moment.
When I think of all the things that I have heard, all the preaching, all the teaching, all the songs, all the conferences, all of it I realize that there has been a lot that has gone into what makes me into the Christ follower I am today but like everyone else I am subject to the winds of the world, like everyone I tend to gravitate toward people who will tell me what I like to hear, that will agree with me more than call me out on the possibility that I have it wrong, the my interpretation is off that I am missing some key parts of what God is saying through a particular passage, life experience or individual.
When Paul tells us to pay even more attention to what we have heard so we don't drift away, it's easy to look at what we were, at what we grew up learning or hearing and trying to get back to it. It's easy to look at things and think that everything we were taught, all the things we understood were right after all. That our earlier interpretation of scripture, or circumstance is actually the right way of reading things, that life and growth, and change in venue really are the enemies to a deeper more relevant, personal faith life. But what if it's more than that. What if when we look at what we heard, what we grew up believing was Gospel truth, was wrong? What if some of the things that I took for granted, really shouldn't be a part of the foundation of my life, and what if some of the new things that I have started to look at and wonder about are equally misguided. If anything Hebrews 2 tells me that it's easy to drift away when we decide that one camp is all right and one camp is all wrong. There is a place for commonality, but more importantly no matter where we stand on some issues and thoughts and fights. There is a real foundation to our faith that is embodied in the following...“
And since we have the same spirit of faith in keeping with what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke, we also believe, and therefore speak.”
(2 Corinthians 4:13 HCSB)
Reading the verses around that verse we find that our faith is supposed to be rooted in Jesus, sometimes I get so caught up in the things that come across my Facebook feed, or a tweet from someone who I agree with, or disagree with, I get dug so deep into Orange or Patheos, or Outlaw preachers that I lose sight of the real foundation for my faith, Jesus.
My frustration with what I used to hold dear, or with what I now hold as important many times manifests in sarcasm, frustration and a predisposition to become judgmental. What I have to remember is what I have heard so I don't drift away from what really matters, from the thing that should bind all people who profess to be Christ followers, the work of God evidenced in my life through the acceptance of Jesus death, resurrection and cross. That last part can be the tricky part because if I read it right when I take up the cross, I'm placing myself in the lowest possible position. The cross invites pain, ridicule, scorn and embarrassment. The cross exposes not just my soft bits but the bits that I thought were strong, that I thought were solid and well worked. The cross not only demands but compels me to death, not once but if the Gospel of Luke is to be believed on a daily basis.
“Then He said to them all, “If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross DAILY, and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23 HCSB)
That's the thing about remembering what we have heard. We are supposed to remember it all, and when we remember those kinds of verse, at least when I do, I want to move on to something more comfortable, self-serving and easy.
I keep wondering what would happen if every day I would look at all the people who I know and love and even the ones I know and don't love and realize that if they claim Christianity we have the same foundation, and if I really am going to be the Christ follower I claim to be or want to be, I need to wake up pick up the cross, climb the hill lay down and allow the nails to be driven in or the ropes to be tied, and death to come, over and over and over again. With the hope that each time I do there is more of Jesus and less of Aaron.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Until I Wasn't
I've been writing some different things lately. This one has been kicking around in my head the last few days so I decided to go ahead ...
