how do you start over

A million years ago, well ok not a million but it sure feels that way, I had a choice to make, I could choose to be youth pastor, go to college get a degree become a minister, or go to college get a degree and become a speech pathologist. I remember choosing the youth pastor thing, I remember what it was like to feel a calling, I remember how it all seemed to just work out that it was what it was supposed to be.
I was really good at it. I am a great youth pastor. I know how to teach, I know how to build a group. I suck at money management, I won't touch anything that doesn't come from an allowance that I am given, never again. I just had to be the man and it cost me a lot. That's all gone now. What is, is the fact that I have to start over, and the question of how screams at me. I am getting ready to take a test so I can get into Grad School. I'm scared to death. I am not sure how I'm going to do it, I just know I have to. Do I want to be a speech Pathologist. The answer is complicated, well not really the answer is if I can't be a Youth Pastor then I want to be a speech pathologist.
I guess thats a yes, but what if someone decided they wanted to give me a chance at being a youth pastor again, what would I do? I don't know, I would want to but should I?