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It's been and I am sure will continue to be a journey into the unknown, but ya know the thing is no matter who you are it must be that. While we are promised some things in the bible we are not really promised tomorrow, shoot we are not promised our next breath, we get that from God sure but we do not know if it's going to happen. Sitting here breathing in and out I am really struck by the fragility of humanity.

I am also struck by the past 8 months plus. I have and continue to have big up's and downs, I am sure other people do as well but it just seems more pronounced for me. I am looking forward to a few things in the coming weeks, and really just want to move on.

I miss people, a lot. I miss tons of people I wonder what they are doing I wonder at how much if at all they can understand or whatever. It's a difficult place to be. Just because I dont think I need to hear what people have to say in fact it is so long afterwards it makes little matter I miss the people. While I don't want to see people it's not because I dont care about them, but because I'm so tired of being sad and depressed, and seeing them will bring that all back to the front.

I dont believe I will ever be over this, ever. I am still very sad and miss the work and the kids and the parents and all that goes with it.

So to those up in WI that are reading, if you still are, please understand that it's not you it's me, I know this sounds very um breakupish the thing you say to the girl or guy that you break up with but still care about but it's true, It's not you it's me. I am just not mature enough or in a place that makes me want to dredge it all back up. Plus even if you dont I put my feelings about me on you and think that you may be thinking that way. So there is not a lot of like there if that makes sense.